Sorry to hear about it man. It does really suck, but think of it this way, it can always be worse. My fiance broke it off last year, 3 months before the wedding. I had just bought a new house for us, lost like 60% of what the ring cost when I sold it, and wasted 4 years of my life. When it first happened, everyone said time will make it better. I wanted to punch everyone who said that, but it is true. Spend your time doing things for you first, and try not to dwell on it. You're young, and there are tons of women out there. Figure out areas that you can improve yourself, and someone better will come along. Good luck bro
Im not mad at her. I think in the end everything will be ok...it just hurts you know...Like I try to call her and she just ends the call she only wants to talk through texts and its really hard for us to understand each other that way...
That sucks man. It really does. I'm pretty much in the exact same situation as you right now.
My girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me about 2 months ago. The thing is, the worst part about it is that we have been best friends for like 8 years... so it is really messing up our frienship.
If you guys stay apart, I wish you the best... and my advice to you would be to:
Be mature about the situation. Especially with her. After a girl breaks up with a guy, the last thing she wants is a) the guy to act like an ass, b) the guy to freak out and keep calling her/trying to get back together with her.
The best thing you can do is not talk to her. Honestly. As hard as it is, if you don't talk to her, she'll call you, and she may even want to get back together. If she doesn't, then she'll realize what she losts... and to you, that should be "her loss"
Hang out with lots of people. Try to be by yourself as little as possible... hanging out with other people/having fun will keep your mind off of it.
One last thing... tell a few of your CLOSEST friends about the situation and how you feel (girl or guy). Whenever you're about to do something that has to do with your ex (calling her, etc..), tell them, and ask them what they think. Sometimes you're mind will make you think crazy things when you're heart just got messed... and its best to have a second opinion.
Giver her space for a couple of days, but don't write the relationship off. She's vulnerable and will need to find someone to lean on, and right now thinks you're part of the problem. After some (short) time she'll be aching for someone to confide in.
If you don't come back to her, she'll find someone else. She may already have, which might be the source of the problem. Not saying she's cheating, far from it, she just might desire personal non-family male attention from someone that's just plain not you. It happens.
Either way, if you try to contact her and she doesn't want your attention, you can pretty much rest assured she's moved on.
That sucks man. It really does. I'm pretty much in the exact same situation as you right now.
My girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me about 2 months ago. The thing is, the worst part about it is that we have been best friends for like 8 years... so it is really messing up our frienship.
If you guys stay apart, I wish you the best... and my advice to you would be to:
Be mature about the situation. Especially with her. After a girl breaks up with a guy, the last thing she wants is a) the guy to act like an ass, b) the guy to freak out and keep calling her/trying to get back together with her.
The best thing you can do is not talk to her. Honestly. As hard as it is, if you don't talk to her, she'll call you, and she may even want to get back together. If she doesn't, then she'll realize what she losts... and to you, that should be "her loss"
Hang out with lots of people. Try to be by yourself as little as possible... hanging out with other people/having fun will keep your mind off of it.
One last thing... tell a few of your CLOSEST friends about the situation and how you feel (girl or guy). Whenever you're about to do something that has to do with your ex (calling her, etc..), tell them, and ask them what they think. Sometimes you're mind will make you think crazy things when you're heart just got messed... and its best to have a second opinion.
I wish I never had learned this by making all these mistakes. Dated a girl for 2 1/2 but were best friends for 5. When we broke up, I was a huge ass and we didn't talk for a long time, and hated each other. Ruined a good portion of my life. But I grew up and became a man and solved our problems - now we're close friends again, but I wish I knew what I knew now about women.
Guys...we talked it out long and hard...There were a lot of things we were both unhappy with but in the end we realized that we could both look past them because our happy times far out weighed our sad times... I love me girl friend so much and I hope I can be with her forever... There were apologies on both ends... She was still not ready to tell me she loves me back after I said it. But as the conversation was about to end and I was ready to hand up I hear "wait!" I say "what?" and she said "thanks so much for talk to me"...for the first time in my life I have cried tears of joy. Then she told me that she loved me very much...
Thank you so much NA for lending an invisible ear.
Awww, we have our own little support group here. Whether it ends up working out in the long run or not, staying civil and not freaking out is key. I'm still very close with a lot of ex-girlfriends because I learned early on that losing your temper and flying off the handle doesn't solve anything.
Hopefully things stay positive and it works out for you guys. If things go sour, you can always make amateur porn like Seth.
Thats good for you that you worked things out. But, I just don't get why couples who fight stay together. It's so not true that "you have to work at relationships". I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 years, and honestly, we've never fought, raised our voices, or really gotten mad at each other. Your girlfriend/wife should be someone you get along with, not someone your constanlty beckering with. I just don't get why anyone would want to go through that.
We have been fighting off and on for the last 6 months or so...
You're a young guy, and this is bad news. I'd say she did you a favor, though you won't realize it until much later. Go spread your wings amigo, there are plenty of wonderful women out there, and one of them is waiting just for you.
*edit* I didn't read the whole thread before posting. At any rate, g'luck with it all, but if it's a non-stop battle, it may be wise to move on.
Glad to see it worked out. I really hate to say this, but 9/10 once you become part of the "break up and get back together syndrome", it'll happen again.
You're a young dude though, so you just have to live and learn. Through my relationships, I've learned that once it's broken off you never go back. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to do (and might not even make sense at the time) but in the long run it works out...
Like now I have a wonderful girlfriend and if something bothers one of us we talk it out like civilized people. It's very important to remember that it "takes two to tango", so you must sometimes make compromises in order to keep the other party happy. If it means not going out to the bar on a Saturday night to spend time with your woman then so be it. Just remember that when your woman is unhappy, it sure as hell is going to rub off on you...
Man, I feel like you're telling my story here, or at least something close to it. My fiance is still in college, and I've already graduated, this last semester worked her over pretty good, so we really didn't get to spend a lot of time together, but the holidays were going to be great... and then they weren't.
We fought, hurt each other over and over, it was awful. In two years we'd never really had more than the very rare arguement (no yelling or anything, just your garden variety disagreements). When we started dating we promised each other to always be honest, and I finally made her tell me what on earth was going on. At any rate, little things had just built up to a point that we were both just resenting the other one. This last week has been a series of some of the most painful talks ect that I've ever had to deal with, and it didn't help that I had to be out of town the last couple days.
The point was, we didn't want to tell each other what was bothering us because we didn't want to hurt each others feelings. We love each other, and it made us both want to keep stuff in because we didn't want to cause the other one to feel bad... but it was eating away our relationship. (we're still together, hedging on the promise that when the little things that kinda were hurtful but were "nothing" come up, we tell each other... man though, I feel like I've gone through a meat grinder lately).
So at any rate, I'm glad you guys patched it up, if you love each other and you're honest, I think you'll be in good shape.
I have no idea how useful any of that is, but if nothing else I can sympathize/empathize...
Comments
delete
My girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me about 2 months ago. The thing is, the worst part about it is that we have been best friends for like 8 years... so it is really messing up our frienship.
If you guys stay apart, I wish you the best... and my advice to you would be to:
Be mature about the situation. Especially with her. After a girl breaks up with a guy, the last thing she wants is a) the guy to act like an ass, b) the guy to freak out and keep calling her/trying to get back together with her.
The best thing you can do is not talk to her. Honestly. As hard as it is, if you don't talk to her, she'll call you, and she may even want to get back together. If she doesn't, then she'll realize what she losts... and to you, that should be "her loss"
Hang out with lots of people. Try to be by yourself as little as possible... hanging out with other people/having fun will keep your mind off of it.
One last thing... tell a few of your CLOSEST friends about the situation and how you feel (girl or guy). Whenever you're about to do something that has to do with your ex (calling her, etc..), tell them, and ask them what they think. Sometimes you're mind will make you think crazy things when you're heart just got messed... and its best to have a second opinion.
If you don't come back to her, she'll find someone else. She may already have, which might be the source of the problem. Not saying she's cheating, far from it, she just might desire personal non-family male attention from someone that's just plain not you. It happens.
Either way, if you try to contact her and she doesn't want your attention, you can pretty much rest assured she's moved on.
Sorry, I know your pain.
That sucks man. It really does. I'm pretty much in the exact same situation as you right now.
My girlfriend (of 2 years) broke up with me about 2 months ago. The thing is, the worst part about it is that we have been best friends for like 8 years... so it is really messing up our frienship.
If you guys stay apart, I wish you the best... and my advice to you would be to:
Be mature about the situation. Especially with her. After a girl breaks up with a guy, the last thing she wants is a) the guy to act like an ass, b) the guy to freak out and keep calling her/trying to get back together with her.
The best thing you can do is not talk to her. Honestly. As hard as it is, if you don't talk to her, she'll call you, and she may even want to get back together. If she doesn't, then she'll realize what she losts... and to you, that should be "her loss"
Hang out with lots of people. Try to be by yourself as little as possible... hanging out with other people/having fun will keep your mind off of it.
One last thing... tell a few of your CLOSEST friends about the situation and how you feel (girl or guy). Whenever you're about to do something that has to do with your ex (calling her, etc..), tell them, and ask them what they think. Sometimes you're mind will make you think crazy things when you're heart just got messed... and its best to have a second opinion.
I wish I never had learned this by making all these mistakes. Dated a girl for 2 1/2 but were best friends for 5. When we broke up, I was a huge ass and we didn't talk for a long time, and hated each other. Ruined a good portion of my life. But I grew up and became a man and solved our problems - now we're close friends again, but I wish I knew what I knew now about women.
We're young, live and learn.
Guys...we talked it out long and hard...There were a lot of things we were both unhappy with but in the end we realized that we could both look past them because our happy times far out weighed our sad times... I love me girl friend so much and I hope I can be with her forever... There were apologies on both ends... She was still not ready to tell me she loves me back after I said it. But as the conversation was about to end and I was ready to hand up I hear "wait!" I say "what?" and she said "thanks so much for talk to me"...for the first time in my life I have cried tears of joy. Then she told me that she loved me very much...

Thank you so much NA for lending an invisible ear.
Hopefully things stay positive and it works out for you guys. If things go sour, you can always make amateur porn like Seth.
~~NGD
We have been fighting off and on for the last 6 months or so...
You're a young guy, and this is bad news. I'd say she did you a favor, though you won't realize it until much later. Go spread your wings amigo, there are plenty of wonderful women out there, and one of them is waiting just for you.
*edit* I didn't read the whole thread before posting. At any rate, g'luck with it all, but if it's a non-stop battle, it may be wise to move on.
Guys...we talked it out long and hard...
Make up sex solves EVERYTHING.
I figure if she didn't dump you when you were in a coma, you should be able to work things out.
You're a young dude though, so you just have to live and learn. Through my relationships, I've learned that once it's broken off you never go back. Sometimes that's the hardest thing to do (and might not even make sense at the time) but in the long run it works out...
Like now I have a wonderful girlfriend and if something bothers one of us we talk it out like civilized people. It's very important to remember that it "takes two to tango", so you must sometimes make compromises in order to keep the other party happy. If it means not going out to the bar on a Saturday night to spend time with your woman then so be it. Just remember that when your woman is unhappy, it sure as hell is going to rub off on you...
We fought, hurt each other over and over, it was awful. In two years we'd never really had more than the very rare arguement (no yelling or anything, just your garden variety disagreements). When we started dating we promised each other to always be honest, and I finally made her tell me what on earth was going on. At any rate, little things had just built up to a point that we were both just resenting the other one. This last week has been a series of some of the most painful talks ect that I've ever had to deal with, and it didn't help that I had to be out of town the last couple days.
The point was, we didn't want to tell each other what was bothering us because we didn't want to hurt each others feelings. We love each other, and it made us both want to keep stuff in because we didn't want to cause the other one to feel bad... but it was eating away our relationship. (we're still together, hedging on the promise that when the little things that kinda were hurtful but were "nothing" come up, we tell each other... man though, I feel like I've gone through a meat grinder lately).
So at any rate, I'm glad you guys patched it up, if you love each other and you're honest, I think you'll be in good shape.
I have no idea how useful any of that is, but if nothing else I can sympathize/empathize...