And I have a new goal to beat 166,900 points tonight.
Which I also feel Bert will try to achieve. I will have to have surgical precision with my newspapers tossing to break as many windows as possible on my run.
Edit:
Reference video for everyone.
This is crazy.
Edit 2:
How the heck is he putting 2 newspapers at the mail boxes?
I will have to figure this out tonight.
Well, in the spirit of sharing tips and what not, I'll give you a clue. There are two buttons on the controller that throw papers. Hit 200k Bea!
That is my plan for tonight, now that I know it is possible to double score on mailboxes.
I thought it to be impossible, but that was most likely due to badly timed throws. The second newspaper would hit the mailbox one or two frames after. I forgot that A also threw newspapers.
I need to devise a new strategy, though. I usually drop as many subscribers as possible so I have more windows to smash. Now I will have to keep at least 7 or 8 of them instead of only 3.
Yeah, my first run, I just made sure to keep at least the first house. When I hit 155k, I kept every subscriber, but didn't worry about the resubs as they're only worth 300 points.
I expect Brock to get over 150k despite saying how much he hates this game.
Yeah... about that
Right now I'm questioning if fighting skinny for 7th place is worth the effort
Just remember, I will probably put 10-15 minutes into this game and get 3 points....I know I can get participation first try since last time I played I got up to 30k-ish.
Our assignment on this beautiful Tuesday morning was Nintendo Street, a neighborhood full of huge houses and some very famous people. I’ll tell ya, I had never been so star struck in all my life! I wanted to get so many autographs, but I knew if I did, I would get in trouble with the boss. My first delivery was the one, the only, Mega Man! He even tipped me five bucks for landing the paper right on his front porch! I was envious of Bo Abobo’s first delivery as I’ve always wanted to meet the super cool intergalactic hero, Vectorman! And Bo Abobo even landed on the front porch with that delivery! It looked like things were already starting to improve for the ugly bully. My next delivery ended up being my eventual buds the Battletoads! Of course, at the time they were just teenagers like me and living with their parents, Blackhead and Eczema. As I neared their house, I saw Jerms sitting on the front porch devouring a hot dog when Rash walked out the front door and waved to me. “Throw the paper in the air and watch this” he exclaimed as I reached into my satchel. As I threw a newspaper into the air, he whipped his tongue out lightning quick and caught it in midair! I cheered him on as he rolled his tongue back and grabbed the paper with one hand. Bo Abobo’s next customer was this short little guy with a long nose named Quinn-Bert Chester Hyram Ulysses Barnaby, or, Q-Bert for short (This was Q-Bert’s grandpa, by the way. Remember, the Q-Bert I would eventually get to know was living in River City at the time). Anyway, Bo Abobo threw the paper high into the air, attempting to repeat the success of his first delivery, but fell a little bit short. The paper landed right on Q-Bert’s head, causing him to shout out “!#?@!” When I got to my next customer’s house, my eyes just about bugged out of my head! The next house I came to belonged to the Aran’s! Yeah, that’s right, I was delivering to the house of the super hot Samus Aran! All I can say is hubba hubba! I would be lying if I said she wasn’t my first crush, and damn, was she ever a hottie! And you should have seen what she was wearing when she came to get the paper! She was in her bra and underwear! I mean, DAMN! Just look at her:
As I tossed the newspaper through the air, I whistled at her loudly. To my surprise, she struck a sexy pose, winked at me, and blew me a kiss as the paper landed on the front steps of her house. Man, I’ll tell ya, I was harder than the kickstand on my bike after that little show (Oh, and please don’t tell Marian about this. I know it was in the past, but she would KILL me if she knew I had the hots for one of her best friends way before we started dating…it’s a long story). Anyway, Bo Abobo witnessed the little show I received and I could see the jealousy spreading across his ugly face. At this point, he was approaching the Haggar residence and he could see Mike’s beautiful daughter, Jessica, sunbathing out in the front yard. Bo Abobo hopped his bike up on the sidewalk and rode close to the front lawn so she would be able to see him. Jessica lowered her sunglasses slightly and watched the pudgy bully pull a newspaper from his satchel. As he heaved it toward the front porch, Bo Abobo flexed his muscles and wiggled his eyebrows at her, not even paying attention to where he was going. Suddenly, Bo Abobo crashed his bike into the fence separating the Haggar residence from their neighbor, the famed assassin, Ezio de Auditore. He landed in a heap on the ground and just sat there with a dazed look on his face. Jessica rolled her eyes in disgust as she pushed her sunglasses back up over her eyes. “Way to go, fathead” she exclaimed without even looking at Bo Abobo. “Are you always that smooth with the ladies? Maybe you should try riding a bike that’s more your size and not designed for your eight-year-old brother.” Suddenly, the front door of the Haggar residence flung open and out stepped Mike, clad in a pink bathrobe and sandals with a look of anger on his face. I tried my hardest not to laugh at my future principal dressed in pink as I began to ride away to my next delivery. “What’s going on out here? What’s all the commotion” Mike Haggar questioned angrily to Bo Abobo as he strode down the front steps of his house, the flip-flops slapping on the bottoms of his heels loudly. Bo Abobo suddenly snapped to attention, shook the stars from his head, hopped back on his bike, and rode away quickly.
I was actually quite impressed with how Bo Abobo handled his route that morning. Aside from crashing into the fence and hitting Q-Bert on the head with a paper, he actually made all of his deliveries and didn’t once damage any property. I knew Big Boss would be impressed, but it’s what happened next that would leave more than just our boss impressed. As we reached the end of our route for the day, Bo Abobo noticed a Merv’s Burger Joint on the corner of Nintendo Street and Rad Racer Boulevard. “I’m going to get a Merv Shake. Smell ya later, squirt” Bo Abobo shouted at me as he pedaled toward the fast food establishment. Suddenly, the front doors of the place flew open and an alarm could be heard going off inside along with panicked screaming. Bo Abobo and I both stopped our bikes quickly as Bebop and Rocksteady ran outside with bulging brown bags in their hands. The two didn’t seem to notice us and turned around to face the open door of Merv’s, ray guns pointed inside. “Thanks for all the loot. Now we can go buy some comic books” Bebop snorted to the scared customers inside. “Yeah, thanks a lot” Rocksteady chuckled. “And don’t any of youse guys tries to follows us or you’ll be sorry.” At this moment, Bo Abobo slowly pulled two newspapers from his satchel and I could tell what he was planning: he was going to stop the two robbers. “Hey, ugly” Bo Abobo shouted to the two mutants as he raised a newspaper in the air. Bebop and Rocksteady both turned around slowly and faced us, ray guns ready to fire. “Who are you calling ugly, ‘Ugly’” Bebop snorted at Bo Abobo. “I think he was talking to me, Bebop” Rocksteady replied as he scratched his head in confusion. Bebop suddenly slapped Rocksteady in the back of the head, the rhino wincing in pain. “He was talking to both of us, you idiot” Bebop snarled at Rocksteady. “Hey, who are youse calling an idiot” Rocksteady said angrily as he dropped his bag of loot and raised a fist to punch Bebop. Suddenly, a newspaper struck Bebop square in the head, knocking him to the ground in a daze. “What the” Rocksteady exclaimed as he turned to see where the paper came from. Before he could react, a newspaper struck Rocksteady in the head and he tumbled to the ground alongside his accomplice. I stood in awe at Bo Abobo’s heroics as the two ugly mutants sat on the ground and groaned in pain. Suddenly, police cars from every precinct you could imagine arrived at the scene. There was Leon Kennedy from the Raccoon City Police Department, Jax and Sonya Blade from the Special Forces Squad, famous detective Max Payne, and even Robocop from OCP’s police division. Just as Bebop and Rocksteady shook the daze from their heads, they found themselves surrounded by tons of cops, guns all drawn. Robocop approached the two robbers and pointed a finger at them as he said “Halt, or there will be…trouble.” Bebop and Rocksteady both glared at the cyborg cop standing before them and slowly reached for their ray guns. Suddenly, the gun holster on Robocop’s leg opened up to reveal his Auto 9 machine pistol. He quickly grabbed it, twirled it around his finger, and fired off a three-round burst, striking the ray guns and sending them flying through the air. Bebop and Rocksteady flinched in pain and shook their hands as they were disarmed. “Your move, creeps” Robocop replied as he kept his pistol aimed at the two mutants. Bebop and Rocksteady both sighed dejectedly and threw their hands up in the air and surrendered. They were quickly arrested, thrown into a squad car, and taken downtown to jail. As Max Payne surveyed the scene of the crime, a crowd had formed all around, gawking at the events that had just transpired. “So, who incapacitated these two idiot robbers” Max Payne asked to the crowd as he lit a cigarette. One of the patrons of Merv’s Burger Joint, who happened to be Sir Dirk the Daring, pointed toward Bo Abobo. “That boy right there” Dirk shouted as he continued to point at my rival. “He’s the one who stopped the robbers. He’s a hero!” The crowd all cheered happily at Bo Abobo’s heroics and even a few people hoisted him up on their shoulders. Famed photographer Frank West suddenly appeared and snapped a picture of Bo Abobo hoisted in the air just moments before the crowd couldn’t sustain his weight and they all collapsed to the ground.
Well, it was quite the eventful Tuesday for Bo Abobo and me. Like I thought, Big Boss was incredibly pleased with the large bully and even made sure his heroics were featured on the front page of Wednesday’s paper. I have to admit, I was pretty jealous of Bo Abobo that day. I just always hate to see the bullies come out on top. And that he did and he loved every single moment of it. However, Wednesday would bring even more adventure and allow your old pal Billy to gain a little recognition for himself.
Bimmy, this has got to be the biggest epic in contest history, no?
By Sunday, it will be the biggest epic in contest histroy when I post part 8. Double Dragon from earlier this year holds the current record with 4 parts, but that will be shattered in a few days.
I expect Brock to get over 150k despite saying how much he hates this game.
Yeah... about that
Right now I'm questioning if fighting skinny for 7th place is worth the effort
Cmon SANDAFLOOR! I haven't even played it yet. But I say we go for the 150k!!
Or participation
i don't think I've ever made it past Wednesday or Thursday.
I've been averaging enough time each night to put in about 30 minutes of Lufia II, and 1-2 attempts at Paperboy. 150,000 is so far beyond me right now, that I clearly just don't understand how to be good at this. I must need strict patterns or something, and this game just seems like random rolls of the dice.
Wednesday morning’s assignment took us all the way to the north side of town to Tengen Lane, which is a nice, little, middle-class neighborhood. As I pulled up to my side of the street, I yanked a paper from my satchel and unrolled it to read the top story of the day. Sure enough, it was about Bo Abobo’s heroics on Tuesday. The headline screamed “Hero paperboy stops robbers in spectacular fashion” and featured the picture Frank West had shot of Bo Abobo perched up on the shoulders of excited onlookers. I hung my head dejectedly at my rival’s act of bravery and felt as if his good deed had automatically secured the paperboy job for him. Suddenly, Bo Abobo came to a screeching halt next to me, a huge grin on his ugly face. “Yeah, that’s what a true winner looks like right there, wimp” Bo Abobo taunted as he pointed at his picture in the paper. “It’s gonna take a miracle for you to beat me out for the job, Bimmy. It sounds like Big Boss is already planning on hiring me. You might as well give up now.” At that moment, Bo Abobo leaned sideways on his bike and ripped a loud fart in my direction. “Smell ya later, loser” he laughed as he pedaled down Tengen Lane. As I sat there breathing in another rotten Bo Abobo fart, anger started to roll through my body. I rolled up the newspaper I had been reading so tightly that I almost ripped it in half. There was no way I was going to let him beat me that easily. Determination began to course through my body, the determination to be the best damn paperboy over the next five days that the entire town had ever seen. With that in mind, I spun my favorite Contra hat around backward and sped off down Tengen Lane.
My first subscriber lived in this giant house that looked like it was a cross between a castle and a mansion. The name on the mailbox read “Alex Kidd,” but I didn’t recognize the name. I barely knew anyone from this part of town. As I threw the paper toward the house, this little, furry man came running out screaming “AHHHHHH,” snatched it up quickly, and then ran back inside. My guess was that furry man was Alex Kidd. What a weirdo. My next customer was the ninja master Shinobi, the cousin of the famed Ryu Hayabusa. As I prepared to toss a newspaper toward his house, he suddenly jumped out of a second story window and landed gracefully on top of a bird feeder by the porch. And he didn’t even break the thing when he landed on it! Now that’s some ninja skill! As I stood there in awe, he hopped on the tops of every single flower he had planted along his front walk until he approached me on the street. “Thank you and here’s a quarter for you, paperboy-san” he replied as he took the newspaper from my hand and bowed before me. As I stood there with my jaw agape in wonder of his awesome skills, he back-flipped down his front walk and jumped right back through the second story window with one mighty leap. I was too amazed by his radical ninja jumping skills to even care that he gave me a crappy tip. The next house I came to belonged to Dynamite Headdy. As I rode by, I noticed he was sitting on his porch sipping coffee and eating a bagel. He waved to me as I grabbed a paper from my satchel and threw it toward him. As I prepared to wave back, he suddenly threw his head forward and grabbed the newspaper between his teeth, his head springing back quickly to the porch. I quickly waved back and hurried along, weirded out by his actions.
While my deliveries went well, Bo Abobo struggled a bit on Wednesday, and it didn’t help that his first subscriber was on the creepy side. As he approached the house, this thin old man with a walker slowly made his way down his front walk, a big grin on his pallid face. “Well, well, well, look at this big, muscley armed paperboy” the old man said in a shrill voice as Bo Abobo slowed down with a newspaper in his hand. As he prepared to hand the paper to the man, the man ignored the offer and instead began feeling Bo Abobo’s bicep. The old man hummed softly to himself, an ecstatic look in his eyes. “Say, why don’t you take a break for a few minutes and come in for a nice, big, refreshing glass of lemonade. It’s on the house” the old man offered as Bo Abobo yanked his arm away. “You look awful sweaty, too. You can even take a shower in my bathtub built for two.” A disgusted look spread across Bo Abobo’s face as he began to pedal away from the old man. “Get away from me you old weirdo” he shouted as he began to head to the next house. The old man’s eyes narrowed and I could see the anger in his face. “You get your ugly ass back here and get in the house” the old man said quietly in a threatening manner. “Here’s your damn paper” Bo Abobo shouted as he heaved a newspaper at the old man. The paper hit the man square in the chest, dropping him to the ground like a bag of rocks. At first I thought he was dead because he didn’t move for several seconds, but then I saw him lift his head a little, a big smile on his face. “Wow, that paperboy sure hit me with a big load” the old man croaked happily as he laid back down on the ground and hummed happily, the same perverted smile still on his face.
Bo Abobo’s next subscriber happened to be none other than Earthworm Jim himself. Even though a lot of people thought him to be a bit eccentric, his wacky stunts were well-known and entertaining to the public. And what we caught him doing in his front yard this morning was definitely on the strange side. As Bo Abobo approached his house, we noticed Earthworm Jim had loaded a cow into a giant slingshot and was struggling to pull it back. He saw us watching him and a crazy looking grin spread across his face as he waved at us, his fingers wiggling as he did so. Bo Abobo tossed a paper toward the front porch, but missed by several feet. The newspaper hit the edge of the slingshot, which caused Earthworm Jim to lose his grip. As he lost his handle on the massive slingshot, he somehow managed to aim the cow straight up into the air. The cow launched upward like a rocket and disappeared from view after what seemed like only a few seconds. Earthworm Jim picked up his newspaper, turned and looked at us with the same goofy grin on his face, waved to us in the same manner as he did just moments before, and then opened the paper and began reading it. All of a sudden, we noticed a dark, round shadow appear above Earthworm Jim’s head that kept getting bigger and bigger. He stopped reading the paper for a moment, scratched his head in confusion at the sudden darkness above him, and then looked up toward the sky. His eyes bugged out of his head and he got a frightened look on his face as the cow came directly down and smashed him like a pancake. After what seemed like an eternity, Earthworm Jim poked his head out from under the cow with a crazed grin on his face and gave us a thumbs up that he was okay. Bo Abobo and I rode off in a hurry before we could see what would happen next at Earthworm Jim’s house. Further down the street, Bo Abobo fell back into his sloppy ways from Monday over the course of his next few deliveries. He broke a Dr. Robotnik statue at Knuckles’ house, cracked some coral at Ecco the Dolphin’s lake (don’t ask me how he did this since dolphins live UNDER water), broke a window at ToeJam and Earl’s house, and shattered the porch light at Greendog’s beachfront home. Due to my rival’s apparent regression of delivering papers properly, it looked as if I could gain the upperhand despite his heroics on Tuesday. However, what would transpire over the next several minutes would help me gain a little bit more favor with Big Boss.
As Bo Abobo and I neared the end of Tengen Lane, the road ran up a hill and gave us a bit of an incline to ride up. We groaned in disappointment and began our tough ride up the hill. Of course, Bo Abobo started huffing and puffing right away, and before too long, he was sweating right through his shirt. Eventually he got off his bike and just walked it the rest of the way up the hill. With my 21-speed bike, I shifted into low gear and had an easier time riding up the hill, but I soon found myself getting tired. About halfway up the hill, I heard this horrible shriek a little ways ahead of me. I looked up to see Ms. Pac-Man chasing after a runaway baby carriage! “Wakka, wakka, wakka, someone please help me, wakka, wakka, wakka” she exclaimed as she ran down the sidewalk. “Wakka, wakka, wakka, my baby, someone please save him, wakka, wakka, wakka.” I noticed the carriage was getting further and further away from her as it picked up speed and that she was going to be unable to catch up to it. People started to emerge from their homes from the commotion and just stared on in stupefied awe as the carriage rocketed faster and faster down the hill. I glanced over at my rival and noticed Bo Abobo had laid down in some nearby grass, panting like a dog from having climbed the hill. Being too tired myself to run over and stop the carriage on my own, there was only one thing left to do. I reached into my satchel and grabbed my last newspaper, which was actually meant to be delivered to Kid Chameleon’s house, but at this point, I didn’t care. I had to spring into action and save the day! With the last ounce of strength I had left in me, I hurled the newspaper toward the runaway baby carriage. My aim was absolutely perfect! The newspaper hit the baby carriage right in the wheel and veered it toward a nearby fence. The carriage came to a perfect stop, safe and sound, just as Ms. Pac-Man caught up to it. I immediately hopped off my bike and ran over to her to make sure everything was alright. “Wakka, wakka, wakka, oh thank you so, so much, young man, wakka, wakka, wakka” Ms. Pac-Man exclaimed as she picked up her baby from the carriage. “Wakka, wakka, wakka, you saved the life of Pac-Baby. You’re a hero! Wakka, wakka, wakka.” The ever-growing crowd began to cheer happily at my heroics and they even hoisted me up in the air, just the same as Bo Abobo the day before. As I smiled ear to ear as the crowd of people carried me through the street, I could see the jealous scowl of Bo Abobo as he continued to rest in the grass. “Looks like it’s my day to shine, Bo ADOBO” I shouted at him as I continued to celebrate my sweet victory.
Once I arrived back at the newspaper office, I was greeted with extreme gratitude by Big Boss. “Kid” he exclaimed happily. “You did really good today. You’re a hero around these parts right now. Your story of bravery will certainly make the front page of the paper tomorrow. Frank West, come get a picture of Neo City’s newest hero!” I smiled ear to ear and gave a thumbs up as Frank West took my picture. I immediately ran home and told my parents and Jimmy what I had done that morning. They were all so proud of me that we all went out and got pizza at Panic Restaurant that night! Talk about an awesome dinner! I ate so much pizza that night that I almost burst! But it was also an important night in my life as well. It was that night that I first met the eventual love of my life, Marian. She was the hostess at the restaurant and seated us that evening and I’ll tell ya, it was love at first sight! “Hey, aren’t you that guy who saved the baby this morning” she asked me just before she seated us. “Yep, I sure am” I replied with a big smile on my face. She winked at me and flashed me a really awesome smile as my heart pounded in my chest. “We should totally hang out some time” Marian replied as she walked away from our table. “You bet we should” I exclaimed as she walked away still smiling at me. It would be a little while before Marian and I would get to know each other, but when we did…DAMN! Well, another day and another dollar was in the books and Wednesday was my day to shine as a paperboy. Thursday would be another day of adventure as Bo Abobo and I would venture into his area of town.
The past two days I've been working on point pressing, but I get myself into trouble and make stupid mistakes (miss obstacles). Thus, my "point pressing" runs have barely netted me 30K.
I'm thinking of going back and just beating the game, and see how my gameplay style leaves me with respect to a final score. Hats off to those breaking 100K.
I don't understand how only 4 people beat Legendary Wings and 3 cleared 300,000 in Ghost n Goblins, yet everyone and their mother can crush Golf and Paperboy lol
I don't understand how only 4 people beat Legendary Wings and 3 cleared 300,000 in Ghost n Goblins, yet everyone and their mother can crush Golf and Paperboy lol
Didn't get a chance to post a score for Legendary Wings, but I would've crushed that.
Ghosts N' Goblins is some kind of impossible task for me though.
Golf was a game that became easier as you began to get a feel for how the club/wind combo would effect the ball.
Paperboy has a lot of repetition in it. I feel like the house layouts vary slightly each play through, but the combo of hazards stay the same.
Keep 2 or 3 subscribers, smash every window in the red houses you can, drive on the grass and make damn sure you get to the end of each training course at the end of the day to net a couple thousand points. Otherwise, you miss out on a good chunk.
Once you identify the hazard patterns, it'll be a cakewalk for you Brock.
I don't understand how only 4 people beat Legendary Wings and 3 cleared 300,000 in Ghost n Goblins, yet everyone and their mother can crush Golf and Paperboy lol
As Santa said, you can do it.
The game just looks difficult and random, but it is not.
It is fairly easy to get a good score at it once you figure that out.
I don't understand how only 4 people beat Legendary Wings and 3 cleared 300,000 in Ghost n Goblins, yet everyone and their mother can crush Golf and Paperboy lol
Didn't get a chance to post a score for Legendary Wings, but I would've crushed that.
Ghosts N' Goblins is some kind of impossible task for me though.
Golf was a game that became easier as you began to get a feel for how the club/wind combo would effect the ball.
Paperboy has a lot of repetition in it. I feel like the house layouts vary slightly each play through, but the combo of hazards stay the same.
Keep 2 or 3 subscribers, smash every window in the red houses you can, drive on the grass and make damn sure you get to the end of each training course at the end of the day to net a couple thousand points. Otherwise, you miss out on a good chunk.
Once you identify the hazard patterns, it'll be a cakewalk for you Brock.
Well my last run ended because I had a blue pants dude and a blue jackhammer dude right next to each other. I threaded the needle on both of them only to have a skateboarder then decide to crash the party
This bright and sunny Thursday brought Bo Abobo and I to the southern part of town, the rundown and poor part of Neo City. The neighborhood was rough, with lots of crime, rundown and impoverished houses, tough residents, and also the home of my bitter rival, Bo Abobo himself. I was not looking forward to this day, as I knew this would be my most challenging day as a paperboy. As I stood before Poverty Street, I pulled a newspaper from my satchel to read Thursday’s headlines. As I expected, the top headline read “Hero paperboy saves runaway baby” and featured the picture of me being held up on the shoulders of the proud onlookers who witnessed my heroic act. I couldn’t help but smile that I had made the front page of the local paper just one day after Bo Abobo. Other headlines of the day included “Master Higgins completes marathon of Pacific Rim islands. Dead tired from so much running,” “Toki transformed into ape. Witch doctor refuses to reverse curse,” “Chef Boyar-Bimmy wins 10th annual Hyrule Bake-Off,” and “Palamedes tournament gets underway with 16 competitors.” Just as I finished reading the paper I had in my hands, I felt a hard clap on my back, which almost knocked me to the ground. I turned around and found Bo Abobo standing behind me, an angry scowl on his face. “That wasn’t cool what you did yesterday” the chubby bully said as he grabbed me by the front of the shirt. “I’m supposed to be the hero around town, not you. Don’t do it again. You save the heroic acts for ME.” Without thinking twice, I pushed Bo Abobo away as hard as I could. He immediately let go of my shirt and staggered backward a couple steps with a shocked look on his face. I could tell he was not used to being pushed around. “Put your hands on me again and next time they’ll be in a cast” I shouted to him as I huffed and puffed nervously. I could scarcely believe I was threatening the toughest bully in town. The look of shock remained on his face for what seemed like minutes and then eventually broke out into a smile as he laughed evilly. “You? Beat me up? I would like to see you try” Bo Abobo laughed as he cracked his knuckles and started walking toward me with clenched fists. I started backing up, unsure of where I was going to retreat to, but I knew I needed to get away from him before I got clobbered. I wasn’t ready for a fight, not today. As Bo Abobo closed in on me, we both noticed a cop car slowly roll by the intersection, the police officer inside watching us closely. At that point, Bo Abobo backed off and moved toward his bike. “You’re lucky a cop drove by, wimp” Bo Abobo replied in a nasty tone. “Next time, I’m gonna kick your ass. Just remember that. Oh, and you better watch your back today.” As he rode off down Poverty Lane, I shouted to him “Yeah, well I guess we’ll see about that.” He didn’t respond to my half-hearted threat and just continued to ride on. I hopped back on my bike, readjusted my satchel, and headed off to deliver papers.
Just as I expected, my route that day was a doozy. The first subscriber I came to lived in a castle, and this wasn’t just any castle. This one belonged to the King of Koopas himself, Bowser! And let me tell you, the outside was definitely just as dangerous as the inside is in all those Super Mario games we have played! Bowser had cannons mounted every 10 feet or so and they were firing like wild that morning. There were even fireballs spewing out of cracks in the castle walls along with the occasional Bullet Bill. Getting through all of this was going to require a lot of skill. I stood there for a moment getting the timing down, and right when I figured it out, I made my move. Just as I dodged the first set of cannonballs and fireballs, Bowser suddenly appeared at the top of the castle. He laughed maniacally and began breathing fire my way! Just in the nick of time, I dropped my bike to the ground and skidded under the plume of flame. I certainly scratched the hell out of my bike, but I now had a cool story to tell! I hopped back up on both wheels as soon as the fire stopped and reached for a paper. At this point in time, I had screwed up my timing and a giant Bullet Bill was headed my way! I chucked a paper at it, and to my surprise, it deflected the Bullet Bill away from me! It turned in the direction I was facing and took out every last cannonball being shot from the castle, paving a clear road for me. Bowser thumped his fists in frustration at my escape and suddenly jumped down from the castle onto the drawbridge with a thundering crash. It looked like he wasn’t going to let me get away that easily! As he started to run across the bridge, I quickly grabbed a paper from my satchel and heaved it toward him, hoping I could slow him down somehow. I ended up missing Bowser by a mile, but hit an ornamental axe hanging from the front of the castle. It tumbled from its perch and sliced right through the chains on the drawbridge like a hot knife through butter. The bridge quickly collapsed into the moat along with Bowser himself! He howled in disappointment as he landed in the water below him, sputtering loudly as he struggled to keep afloat. I laughed loudly at the spectacle and continued on down the road, realizing that the Bullet Bill that protected me just moments before was still moving forward. It suddenly crashed into one of those expensive 6000 SUX sports cars (you know, the ones that drive really fast but get real shitty gas mileage) and completely destroyed it. As I rode by the wreck, the owner of the car emerged from his house. Based on the way he was dressed, I could tell he was a member of the Mad Gear Gang, a violent gang from this side of town. His eyes bugged out of his head when he saw the destruction and ran quickly toward what was left of the car. He dropped down on his knees and started crying, exclaiming loudly “Oh, my car!” I hurried away from the scene before he could have a chance to realize I was the one responsible for destroying his car.
When I finally caught up to Bo Abobo, he had already delivered to a handful of Neo City’s toughest ruffians, including Belger, the leader of the Mad Gear Gang, the mysterious and evil Jacquio, the nefarious Dr. Robotnik, the always scheming and ever malevolent Kefka, the crafty and sly Revolver Ocelot, and the bratty, yet rich, Montana Max. As I threw a newspaper onto the doorstep of Gannon’s Dark Palace, I could see Bo Abobo glaring at me from across the street. “What are you looking at, Bo ADOBO” I shouted at him as I felt myself getting bolder and bolder. I was starting to not fear the giant bully anymore and knew that one day we would come to blows with one another. “Someone who is about to get pummeled” he retorted back as he started to laugh evilly. Suddenly he sped ahead on the tiny bike of his and faster than I had ever seen him ride. I was confused by what he meant and continued on up the road, oblivious as what I was about to run into. Before too long I came across what appeared to be a kid’s fort of some sort. It was made from what appeared to be scrap pieces of lumber and spanned an entire lot on Poverty Street. It happened to be your typical kid’s fort: small little building where the kids would play Pirates or something of that nature with crudely cut windows, a tree with a small fort that was only accessible from small pieces of wood nailed into the tree itself, and several walls from which kids could throw water balloons and still be safe from the people they were assaulting. As I rode by, I noticed quick movement from inside the fort, and within moments, I realized what Bo Abobo meant. Suddenly, a trap door on the ceiling of the biggest building flung open and Bo Abobo’s best friend Burnov emerged with a big smile on his face. At the same time, I noticed more bullies popping up from hiding spots from within the fort. Abore showed himself from the tree fort and Andore Jr. and Paco Loco popped up from behind the walls attached to the main building. “Get him, guys” I heard Burnov shout as the bullies rained rocks down on me. I wiped out on my bike as the stinging stones pelted me in the arms, legs, chest, and back as bruises and scratches appeared on my body and blood ran from open cuts. The bullies all laughed heartily as I lay prone on the road, stones pelting all parts of my body as I attempted to protect myself. Seeing no way out of this cruel and unusual torture, I reached for a nearby stone and hurled it toward my attackers. I hit Burnov square in the nose, causing him to yelp in pain and tumble back into the fort, the trap door banging loudly on the roof as he disappeared from view. I hurled another one toward Abore, hitting him in the shoulder and causing him to recoil in pain. I tossed more rocks toward Andore Jr. and Paco Loco, causing them to take cover behind their walls. I managed to buy myself enough time to scoop up my bike off the ground, hop on, and ride away. More stones rained down on the pavement as I pedaled away quickly, but luckily I was far enough away to keep from getting hit. I could hear the bullies laughing behind me as an angry look spread across my face. Bo Abobo would pay dearly for having his friends ambush me this way. And he would certainly pay before the end of the week. In fact, he was going to pay today whether he liked it or not!
I caught up to Bo Abobo a couple blocks ahead, but at this point, we were almost done with our route for the day. I had a rock concealed in my newspaper satchel and I was ready to pelt the ugly bully with it. As I got closer to him, the anger in my body swelled to an all-time high and I jammed my hand into the satchel and closed it around the rock. The coolness of it actually felt good against my hot skin as I gripped it tightly. I didn’t care if I lost the paperboy job at this point, I just wanted to get revenge…and you guys know how I go on about revenge! And I was ready to get it! As I closed in on Bo Abobo and my eyes narrowed, I removed my clenched hand from the satchel and readied myself to hit him in the ugly face. As he approached his final house, I suddenly chickened out and quickly placed the rock back in my satchel. Bo Abobo’s final delivery for the day was his own house…and his parents were standing outside waiting to greet him! Talk about your white trash house…garbage all over the yard, dirty walls, cracked windows, bent TV antenna, holes in the chain-link fence surrounding the yard, broken down car in the front yard, it was all there. A giant bulldog sat in the front yard chained up to the front of the house, drooling all over the ground as he stood guard of his domain. He barked angrily at me as I rode up the street. At this point I just didn’t have the heart to hurt Bo Abobo right in front of his mom and dad. Speaking of his mom and dad, you know how people say that kids look just like their parents…well Bo Abobo sure did! His dad, Bolo, was standing there shirtless in white sweat pants, the same ugly look on his face as his son. Except Bolo had a lot of hair, whereas, Bo Abobo was clean shaven. And holy crap, Bo Abobo’s mother, Abobina! Man was she ever UGLY! I have never seen such an ugly woman in all my life! She looked so much like her son, except she had long brown hair and wore a flowing pink dress. Words cannot describe the ugliness of Bo Abobo’s parents! I mean, just look at these two!
As I gazed in awe at the hideousness of the Abobo family, Bo Abobo waved proudly to his parents. They both waved back, smiles spreading across their ghastly faces. “Hello, son” Abobina shouted in a husky, yet feminine voice. “We are so proud of you right now. You look so grown up!” “Thanks, mom” Bo Abobo replied happily as he continued to wave to his parents. “Oh, my son, the paperboy hero who stopped the robbers on Tuesday” Abobina replied as she wiped tears from hers eyes. “Son” Bolo shouted as he motioned to Bo Abobo. “Why don’t you show us how good you are. Throw us a newspaper. Show that wimpy rival of yours over there that you’re better than him.” Bo Abobo turned toward me, an evil grin on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows. “Watch this, wimp” he taunted as he reached into his satchel for a paper. Bo Abobo heaved a newspaper toward his parents and, in typical Bo Abobo style, he missed by a mile. The paper soared through the air and landed right on the hookup on the house for their dog. The chain snapped with ease and soon the dog was tearing through the yard at full speed. Bo Abobo’s parents threw their hands up to their faces in utter shock as the dog ran through a hole in the fence surrounding their yard. Bo Abobo immediately jumped off his bike, letting it crash to the ground noisily. “Spike McFang, come back” the fat bully shouted as the dog escaped the Abobo yard and ran up the street. The chubby bully gave chase as his parents scrambled inside to grab a leash. As Bo Abobo and his dog disappeared over the horizon, I laughed loudly to myself. I may not have gotten personal revenge on my rival, but this was certainly good enough for the time being.
Back at the newspaper office, Bo Abobo and I sat before Big Boss’ desk waiting for another evaluation. As was customary with our boss, he had a lit cigar in his mouth and was puffing away on it heartily. “Bimmy” our boss said to me as he took a deep puff on his cigar and blew a couple smoke rings. “You are still delivering at a good rate and have added 30 new subscribers to our paper so far this week. Good job.” At this point, I didn’t even bother trying to correct him on the mispronunciation of my name. If he wasn’t going to get it right at this point, he wasn’t going to get it right at all. “Thank you, sir” I answered as I sighed in disappointment at the mispronunciation of my name. “And as for you, Bo” Big Boss growled as he turned toward my rival. “What in the HELL were you thinking chasing a dog around the Poverty Lane neighborhood today. You’re here to deliver newspapers, not catch DOGS. If you want to catch dogs, go get a job at the POUND!” Bo Abobo could only babble like a baby. He was so taken aback by Big Boss’ words that he couldn’t even form a clear sentence. “But, sir” he finally spit forth from his mouth. “It was MY dog and all and I didn’t want him to get hit by a car and all. Plus, he’s not fixed and I didn’t want him to…” “I don’t care if he’s the dog of the President of the United States and he has been kidnapped by NINJAS” Big Boss screamed as his cigar leaped from his mouth and onto the desk. “You deliver NEWSPAPERS and you do not catch DOGS! Do I make myself clear.” “Yeah, but…” Bo Abobo sputtered as tears started to form at the corners of his eyes. “DO…I…MAKE…MY…SELF…CLEAR” Big Boss screamed loudly as his face turned beet red and a vein started to bulge from his forehead. “Y-y-y-yes, s-s-sir” Bo Abobo said nervously to the angry man in front of him. Big Boss picked up his cigar off the desk and placed it firmly between his teeth, taking two big puffs in the process. “Good” he answered as he blew smoke in the air. “Now both of you get out of my office. I will see you tomorrow.” Bo Abobo and I both jumped up quickly and exited the editor’s office before Big Boss could scream at us again. I stopped short in the hallway as Bo Abobo walked on slowly, his shoulders sagging with a heavy sadness as he trudged along. I felt sorry for the bully for getting yelled at, but I couldn’t help but smile as he slowly exited the building. It was clear Big Boss was starting to show disdain toward Bo Abobo for his lack of effort over the last couple days and that favor was starting to slide my way. I felt way better about myself than I did on Wednesday morning as I left the newspaper office with a huge amount of pride. Before too long, Friday morning would be here and the trial run for the paperboy job would be just days from coming to a close. It would be that morning where some of the craziest hijinks would occur and actually put the job in jeopardy for both of us.
Sneaking in a participation score, between my new job and that other thing i nearly forgot about playing this week., bimmy writing epic stories each day this is gold right here!
i didn't play this game much as a kid, paperboy 2 i played alot but not the first.
Comments
I do like that it makes me think of a horror film with its day title cards, suburban setting, and sidestepping Grim Reapers.
I had never thought of that -- great observation.
And I have a new goal to beat 166,900 points tonight.
Which I also feel Bert will try to achieve. I will have to have surgical precision with my newspapers tossing to break as many windows as possible on my run.
Edit:
Reference video for everyone.
This is crazy.
Edit 2:
How the heck is he putting 2 newspapers at the mail boxes?
I will have to figure this out tonight.
Well, in the spirit of sharing tips and what not, I'll give you a clue. There are two buttons on the controller that throw papers. Hit 200k Bea!
I thought it to be impossible, but that was most likely due to badly timed throws. The second newspaper would hit the mailbox one or two frames after. I forgot that A also threw newspapers.
I need to devise a new strategy, though. I usually drop as many subscribers as possible so I have more windows to smash. Now I will have to keep at least 7 or 8 of them instead of only 3.
I feel like both deserve my time.
I expect Brock to get over 150k despite saying how much he hates this game.
Yeah... about that
Right now I'm questioning if fighting skinny for 7th place is worth the effort
I managed to beat 200K points by a tiny bit with it. I need to get better at the throw two papers at once technique, though.
There is quite some room for improvement on my score.
I expect Brock to get over 150k despite saying how much he hates this game.
Yeah... about that
Right now I'm questioning if fighting skinny for 7th place is worth the effort
Cmon SANDAFLOOR! I haven't even played it yet. But I say we go for the 150k!!
Or participation
i don't think I've ever made it past Wednesday or Thursday.
53,950
I expect Brock to get over 150k despite saying how much he hates this game.
Yeah... about that
Right now I'm questioning if fighting skinny for 7th place is worth the effort
Just remember, I will probably put 10-15 minutes into this game and get 3 points....I know I can get participation first try since last time I played I got up to 30k-ish.
Originally posted by: the tall guy
I'm working on this one. It's also my FINAL week of graduate school.
I feel like both deserve my time.
Congrats for this pal, this is definitely worth being proud of.
Our assignment on this beautiful Tuesday morning was Nintendo Street, a neighborhood full of huge houses and some very famous people. I’ll tell ya, I had never been so star struck in all my life! I wanted to get so many autographs, but I knew if I did, I would get in trouble with the boss. My first delivery was the one, the only, Mega Man! He even tipped me five bucks for landing the paper right on his front porch! I was envious of Bo Abobo’s first delivery as I’ve always wanted to meet the super cool intergalactic hero, Vectorman! And Bo Abobo even landed on the front porch with that delivery! It looked like things were already starting to improve for the ugly bully. My next delivery ended up being my eventual buds the Battletoads! Of course, at the time they were just teenagers like me and living with their parents, Blackhead and Eczema. As I neared their house, I saw Jerms sitting on the front porch devouring a hot dog when Rash walked out the front door and waved to me. “Throw the paper in the air and watch this” he exclaimed as I reached into my satchel. As I threw a newspaper into the air, he whipped his tongue out lightning quick and caught it in midair! I cheered him on as he rolled his tongue back and grabbed the paper with one hand. Bo Abobo’s next customer was this short little guy with a long nose named Quinn-Bert Chester Hyram Ulysses Barnaby, or, Q-Bert for short (This was Q-Bert’s grandpa, by the way. Remember, the Q-Bert I would eventually get to know was living in River City at the time). Anyway, Bo Abobo threw the paper high into the air, attempting to repeat the success of his first delivery, but fell a little bit short. The paper landed right on Q-Bert’s head, causing him to shout out “!#?@!” When I got to my next customer’s house, my eyes just about bugged out of my head! The next house I came to belonged to the Aran’s! Yeah, that’s right, I was delivering to the house of the super hot Samus Aran! All I can say is hubba hubba! I would be lying if I said she wasn’t my first crush, and damn, was she ever a hottie! And you should have seen what she was wearing when she came to get the paper! She was in her bra and underwear! I mean, DAMN! Just look at her:
As I tossed the newspaper through the air, I whistled at her loudly. To my surprise, she struck a sexy pose, winked at me, and blew me a kiss as the paper landed on the front steps of her house. Man, I’ll tell ya, I was harder than the kickstand on my bike after that little show (Oh, and please don’t tell Marian about this. I know it was in the past, but she would KILL me if she knew I had the hots for one of her best friends way before we started dating…it’s a long story). Anyway, Bo Abobo witnessed the little show I received and I could see the jealousy spreading across his ugly face. At this point, he was approaching the Haggar residence and he could see Mike’s beautiful daughter, Jessica, sunbathing out in the front yard. Bo Abobo hopped his bike up on the sidewalk and rode close to the front lawn so she would be able to see him. Jessica lowered her sunglasses slightly and watched the pudgy bully pull a newspaper from his satchel. As he heaved it toward the front porch, Bo Abobo flexed his muscles and wiggled his eyebrows at her, not even paying attention to where he was going. Suddenly, Bo Abobo crashed his bike into the fence separating the Haggar residence from their neighbor, the famed assassin, Ezio de Auditore. He landed in a heap on the ground and just sat there with a dazed look on his face. Jessica rolled her eyes in disgust as she pushed her sunglasses back up over her eyes. “Way to go, fathead” she exclaimed without even looking at Bo Abobo. “Are you always that smooth with the ladies? Maybe you should try riding a bike that’s more your size and not designed for your eight-year-old brother.” Suddenly, the front door of the Haggar residence flung open and out stepped Mike, clad in a pink bathrobe and sandals with a look of anger on his face. I tried my hardest not to laugh at my future principal dressed in pink as I began to ride away to my next delivery. “What’s going on out here? What’s all the commotion” Mike Haggar questioned angrily to Bo Abobo as he strode down the front steps of his house, the flip-flops slapping on the bottoms of his heels loudly. Bo Abobo suddenly snapped to attention, shook the stars from his head, hopped back on his bike, and rode away quickly.
I was actually quite impressed with how Bo Abobo handled his route that morning. Aside from crashing into the fence and hitting Q-Bert on the head with a paper, he actually made all of his deliveries and didn’t once damage any property. I knew Big Boss would be impressed, but it’s what happened next that would leave more than just our boss impressed. As we reached the end of our route for the day, Bo Abobo noticed a Merv’s Burger Joint on the corner of Nintendo Street and Rad Racer Boulevard. “I’m going to get a Merv Shake. Smell ya later, squirt” Bo Abobo shouted at me as he pedaled toward the fast food establishment. Suddenly, the front doors of the place flew open and an alarm could be heard going off inside along with panicked screaming. Bo Abobo and I both stopped our bikes quickly as Bebop and Rocksteady ran outside with bulging brown bags in their hands. The two didn’t seem to notice us and turned around to face the open door of Merv’s, ray guns pointed inside. “Thanks for all the loot. Now we can go buy some comic books” Bebop snorted to the scared customers inside. “Yeah, thanks a lot” Rocksteady chuckled. “And don’t any of youse guys tries to follows us or you’ll be sorry.” At this moment, Bo Abobo slowly pulled two newspapers from his satchel and I could tell what he was planning: he was going to stop the two robbers. “Hey, ugly” Bo Abobo shouted to the two mutants as he raised a newspaper in the air. Bebop and Rocksteady both turned around slowly and faced us, ray guns ready to fire. “Who are you calling ugly, ‘Ugly’” Bebop snorted at Bo Abobo. “I think he was talking to me, Bebop” Rocksteady replied as he scratched his head in confusion. Bebop suddenly slapped Rocksteady in the back of the head, the rhino wincing in pain. “He was talking to both of us, you idiot” Bebop snarled at Rocksteady. “Hey, who are youse calling an idiot” Rocksteady said angrily as he dropped his bag of loot and raised a fist to punch Bebop. Suddenly, a newspaper struck Bebop square in the head, knocking him to the ground in a daze. “What the” Rocksteady exclaimed as he turned to see where the paper came from. Before he could react, a newspaper struck Rocksteady in the head and he tumbled to the ground alongside his accomplice. I stood in awe at Bo Abobo’s heroics as the two ugly mutants sat on the ground and groaned in pain. Suddenly, police cars from every precinct you could imagine arrived at the scene. There was Leon Kennedy from the Raccoon City Police Department, Jax and Sonya Blade from the Special Forces Squad, famous detective Max Payne, and even Robocop from OCP’s police division. Just as Bebop and Rocksteady shook the daze from their heads, they found themselves surrounded by tons of cops, guns all drawn. Robocop approached the two robbers and pointed a finger at them as he said “Halt, or there will be…trouble.” Bebop and Rocksteady both glared at the cyborg cop standing before them and slowly reached for their ray guns. Suddenly, the gun holster on Robocop’s leg opened up to reveal his Auto 9 machine pistol. He quickly grabbed it, twirled it around his finger, and fired off a three-round burst, striking the ray guns and sending them flying through the air. Bebop and Rocksteady flinched in pain and shook their hands as they were disarmed. “Your move, creeps” Robocop replied as he kept his pistol aimed at the two mutants. Bebop and Rocksteady both sighed dejectedly and threw their hands up in the air and surrendered. They were quickly arrested, thrown into a squad car, and taken downtown to jail. As Max Payne surveyed the scene of the crime, a crowd had formed all around, gawking at the events that had just transpired. “So, who incapacitated these two idiot robbers” Max Payne asked to the crowd as he lit a cigarette. One of the patrons of Merv’s Burger Joint, who happened to be Sir Dirk the Daring, pointed toward Bo Abobo. “That boy right there” Dirk shouted as he continued to point at my rival. “He’s the one who stopped the robbers. He’s a hero!” The crowd all cheered happily at Bo Abobo’s heroics and even a few people hoisted him up on their shoulders. Famed photographer Frank West suddenly appeared and snapped a picture of Bo Abobo hoisted in the air just moments before the crowd couldn’t sustain his weight and they all collapsed to the ground.
Well, it was quite the eventful Tuesday for Bo Abobo and me. Like I thought, Big Boss was incredibly pleased with the large bully and even made sure his heroics were featured on the front page of Wednesday’s paper. I have to admit, I was pretty jealous of Bo Abobo that day. I just always hate to see the bullies come out on top. And that he did and he loved every single moment of it. However, Wednesday would bring even more adventure and allow your old pal Billy to gain a little recognition for himself.
Originally posted by: ToxieRules
Bimmy, this has got to be the biggest epic in contest history, no?
By Sunday, it will be the biggest epic in contest histroy when I post part 8. Double Dragon from earlier this year holds the current record with 4 parts, but that will be shattered in a few days.
I expect Brock to get over 150k despite saying how much he hates this game.
Yeah... about that
Right now I'm questioning if fighting skinny for 7th place is worth the effort
Cmon SANDAFLOOR! I haven't even played it yet. But I say we go for the 150k!!
Or participation
i don't think I've ever made it past Wednesday or Thursday.
I've been averaging enough time each night to put in about 30 minutes of Lufia II, and 1-2 attempts at Paperboy. 150,000 is so far beyond me right now, that I clearly just don't understand how to be good at this. I must need strict patterns or something, and this game just seems like random rolls of the dice.
updated score: 53,950
Wednesday morning’s assignment took us all the way to the north side of town to Tengen Lane, which is a nice, little, middle-class neighborhood. As I pulled up to my side of the street, I yanked a paper from my satchel and unrolled it to read the top story of the day. Sure enough, it was about Bo Abobo’s heroics on Tuesday. The headline screamed “Hero paperboy stops robbers in spectacular fashion” and featured the picture Frank West had shot of Bo Abobo perched up on the shoulders of excited onlookers. I hung my head dejectedly at my rival’s act of bravery and felt as if his good deed had automatically secured the paperboy job for him. Suddenly, Bo Abobo came to a screeching halt next to me, a huge grin on his ugly face. “Yeah, that’s what a true winner looks like right there, wimp” Bo Abobo taunted as he pointed at his picture in the paper. “It’s gonna take a miracle for you to beat me out for the job, Bimmy. It sounds like Big Boss is already planning on hiring me. You might as well give up now.” At that moment, Bo Abobo leaned sideways on his bike and ripped a loud fart in my direction. “Smell ya later, loser” he laughed as he pedaled down Tengen Lane. As I sat there breathing in another rotten Bo Abobo fart, anger started to roll through my body. I rolled up the newspaper I had been reading so tightly that I almost ripped it in half. There was no way I was going to let him beat me that easily. Determination began to course through my body, the determination to be the best damn paperboy over the next five days that the entire town had ever seen. With that in mind, I spun my favorite Contra hat around backward and sped off down Tengen Lane.
My first subscriber lived in this giant house that looked like it was a cross between a castle and a mansion. The name on the mailbox read “Alex Kidd,” but I didn’t recognize the name. I barely knew anyone from this part of town. As I threw the paper toward the house, this little, furry man came running out screaming “AHHHHHH,” snatched it up quickly, and then ran back inside. My guess was that furry man was Alex Kidd. What a weirdo. My next customer was the ninja master Shinobi, the cousin of the famed Ryu Hayabusa. As I prepared to toss a newspaper toward his house, he suddenly jumped out of a second story window and landed gracefully on top of a bird feeder by the porch. And he didn’t even break the thing when he landed on it! Now that’s some ninja skill! As I stood there in awe, he hopped on the tops of every single flower he had planted along his front walk until he approached me on the street. “Thank you and here’s a quarter for you, paperboy-san” he replied as he took the newspaper from my hand and bowed before me. As I stood there with my jaw agape in wonder of his awesome skills, he back-flipped down his front walk and jumped right back through the second story window with one mighty leap. I was too amazed by his radical ninja jumping skills to even care that he gave me a crappy tip. The next house I came to belonged to Dynamite Headdy. As I rode by, I noticed he was sitting on his porch sipping coffee and eating a bagel. He waved to me as I grabbed a paper from my satchel and threw it toward him. As I prepared to wave back, he suddenly threw his head forward and grabbed the newspaper between his teeth, his head springing back quickly to the porch. I quickly waved back and hurried along, weirded out by his actions.
While my deliveries went well, Bo Abobo struggled a bit on Wednesday, and it didn’t help that his first subscriber was on the creepy side. As he approached the house, this thin old man with a walker slowly made his way down his front walk, a big grin on his pallid face. “Well, well, well, look at this big, muscley armed paperboy” the old man said in a shrill voice as Bo Abobo slowed down with a newspaper in his hand. As he prepared to hand the paper to the man, the man ignored the offer and instead began feeling Bo Abobo’s bicep. The old man hummed softly to himself, an ecstatic look in his eyes. “Say, why don’t you take a break for a few minutes and come in for a nice, big, refreshing glass of lemonade. It’s on the house” the old man offered as Bo Abobo yanked his arm away. “You look awful sweaty, too. You can even take a shower in my bathtub built for two.” A disgusted look spread across Bo Abobo’s face as he began to pedal away from the old man. “Get away from me you old weirdo” he shouted as he began to head to the next house. The old man’s eyes narrowed and I could see the anger in his face. “You get your ugly ass back here and get in the house” the old man said quietly in a threatening manner. “Here’s your damn paper” Bo Abobo shouted as he heaved a newspaper at the old man. The paper hit the man square in the chest, dropping him to the ground like a bag of rocks. At first I thought he was dead because he didn’t move for several seconds, but then I saw him lift his head a little, a big smile on his face. “Wow, that paperboy sure hit me with a big load” the old man croaked happily as he laid back down on the ground and hummed happily, the same perverted smile still on his face.
Bo Abobo’s next subscriber happened to be none other than Earthworm Jim himself. Even though a lot of people thought him to be a bit eccentric, his wacky stunts were well-known and entertaining to the public. And what we caught him doing in his front yard this morning was definitely on the strange side. As Bo Abobo approached his house, we noticed Earthworm Jim had loaded a cow into a giant slingshot and was struggling to pull it back. He saw us watching him and a crazy looking grin spread across his face as he waved at us, his fingers wiggling as he did so. Bo Abobo tossed a paper toward the front porch, but missed by several feet. The newspaper hit the edge of the slingshot, which caused Earthworm Jim to lose his grip. As he lost his handle on the massive slingshot, he somehow managed to aim the cow straight up into the air. The cow launched upward like a rocket and disappeared from view after what seemed like only a few seconds. Earthworm Jim picked up his newspaper, turned and looked at us with the same goofy grin on his face, waved to us in the same manner as he did just moments before, and then opened the paper and began reading it. All of a sudden, we noticed a dark, round shadow appear above Earthworm Jim’s head that kept getting bigger and bigger. He stopped reading the paper for a moment, scratched his head in confusion at the sudden darkness above him, and then looked up toward the sky. His eyes bugged out of his head and he got a frightened look on his face as the cow came directly down and smashed him like a pancake. After what seemed like an eternity, Earthworm Jim poked his head out from under the cow with a crazed grin on his face and gave us a thumbs up that he was okay. Bo Abobo and I rode off in a hurry before we could see what would happen next at Earthworm Jim’s house. Further down the street, Bo Abobo fell back into his sloppy ways from Monday over the course of his next few deliveries. He broke a Dr. Robotnik statue at Knuckles’ house, cracked some coral at Ecco the Dolphin’s lake (don’t ask me how he did this since dolphins live UNDER water), broke a window at ToeJam and Earl’s house, and shattered the porch light at Greendog’s beachfront home. Due to my rival’s apparent regression of delivering papers properly, it looked as if I could gain the upperhand despite his heroics on Tuesday. However, what would transpire over the next several minutes would help me gain a little bit more favor with Big Boss.
As Bo Abobo and I neared the end of Tengen Lane, the road ran up a hill and gave us a bit of an incline to ride up. We groaned in disappointment and began our tough ride up the hill. Of course, Bo Abobo started huffing and puffing right away, and before too long, he was sweating right through his shirt. Eventually he got off his bike and just walked it the rest of the way up the hill. With my 21-speed bike, I shifted into low gear and had an easier time riding up the hill, but I soon found myself getting tired. About halfway up the hill, I heard this horrible shriek a little ways ahead of me. I looked up to see Ms. Pac-Man chasing after a runaway baby carriage! “Wakka, wakka, wakka, someone please help me, wakka, wakka, wakka” she exclaimed as she ran down the sidewalk. “Wakka, wakka, wakka, my baby, someone please save him, wakka, wakka, wakka.” I noticed the carriage was getting further and further away from her as it picked up speed and that she was going to be unable to catch up to it. People started to emerge from their homes from the commotion and just stared on in stupefied awe as the carriage rocketed faster and faster down the hill. I glanced over at my rival and noticed Bo Abobo had laid down in some nearby grass, panting like a dog from having climbed the hill. Being too tired myself to run over and stop the carriage on my own, there was only one thing left to do. I reached into my satchel and grabbed my last newspaper, which was actually meant to be delivered to Kid Chameleon’s house, but at this point, I didn’t care. I had to spring into action and save the day! With the last ounce of strength I had left in me, I hurled the newspaper toward the runaway baby carriage. My aim was absolutely perfect! The newspaper hit the baby carriage right in the wheel and veered it toward a nearby fence. The carriage came to a perfect stop, safe and sound, just as Ms. Pac-Man caught up to it. I immediately hopped off my bike and ran over to her to make sure everything was alright. “Wakka, wakka, wakka, oh thank you so, so much, young man, wakka, wakka, wakka” Ms. Pac-Man exclaimed as she picked up her baby from the carriage. “Wakka, wakka, wakka, you saved the life of Pac-Baby. You’re a hero! Wakka, wakka, wakka.” The ever-growing crowd began to cheer happily at my heroics and they even hoisted me up in the air, just the same as Bo Abobo the day before. As I smiled ear to ear as the crowd of people carried me through the street, I could see the jealous scowl of Bo Abobo as he continued to rest in the grass. “Looks like it’s my day to shine, Bo ADOBO” I shouted at him as I continued to celebrate my sweet victory.
Once I arrived back at the newspaper office, I was greeted with extreme gratitude by Big Boss. “Kid” he exclaimed happily. “You did really good today. You’re a hero around these parts right now. Your story of bravery will certainly make the front page of the paper tomorrow. Frank West, come get a picture of Neo City’s newest hero!” I smiled ear to ear and gave a thumbs up as Frank West took my picture. I immediately ran home and told my parents and Jimmy what I had done that morning. They were all so proud of me that we all went out and got pizza at Panic Restaurant that night! Talk about an awesome dinner! I ate so much pizza that night that I almost burst! But it was also an important night in my life as well. It was that night that I first met the eventual love of my life, Marian. She was the hostess at the restaurant and seated us that evening and I’ll tell ya, it was love at first sight! “Hey, aren’t you that guy who saved the baby this morning” she asked me just before she seated us. “Yep, I sure am” I replied with a big smile on my face. She winked at me and flashed me a really awesome smile as my heart pounded in my chest. “We should totally hang out some time” Marian replied as she walked away from our table. “You bet we should” I exclaimed as she walked away still smiling at me. It would be a little while before Marian and I would get to know each other, but when we did…DAMN! Well, another day and another dollar was in the books and Wednesday was my day to shine as a paperboy. Thursday would be another day of adventure as Bo Abobo and I would venture into his area of town.
The past two days I've been working on point pressing, but I get myself into trouble and make stupid mistakes (miss obstacles). Thus, my "point pressing" runs have barely netted me 30K.
I'm thinking of going back and just beating the game, and see how my gameplay style leaves me with respect to a final score. Hats off to those breaking 100K.
Fix that game and post a score, and do it NOW!
Happy?
23,200
Awesome!
Now beat that score already and post it NOW!
Beat it by a lot.
Now play it already and beat my score NOW!
EDIT: Just realized you were helping Bimmy with this, nevermind.
I don't understand how only 4 people beat Legendary Wings and 3 cleared 300,000 in Ghost n Goblins, yet everyone and their mother can crush Golf and Paperboy lol
Didn't get a chance to post a score for Legendary Wings, but I would've crushed that.
Ghosts N' Goblins is some kind of impossible task for me though.
Golf was a game that became easier as you began to get a feel for how the club/wind combo would effect the ball.
Paperboy has a lot of repetition in it. I feel like the house layouts vary slightly each play through, but the combo of hazards stay the same.
Keep 2 or 3 subscribers, smash every window in the red houses you can, drive on the grass and make damn sure you get to the end of each training course at the end of the day to net a couple thousand points. Otherwise, you miss out on a good chunk.
Once you identify the hazard patterns, it'll be a cakewalk for you Brock.
that's the best I can do for now
Welcome to the contests! It is always nice to see new competitors.
I don't understand how only 4 people beat Legendary Wings and 3 cleared 300,000 in Ghost n Goblins, yet everyone and their mother can crush Golf and Paperboy lol
As Santa said, you can do it.
The game just looks difficult and random, but it is not.
It is fairly easy to get a good score at it once you figure that out.
I don't understand how only 4 people beat Legendary Wings and 3 cleared 300,000 in Ghost n Goblins, yet everyone and their mother can crush Golf and Paperboy lol
Didn't get a chance to post a score for Legendary Wings, but I would've crushed that.
Ghosts N' Goblins is some kind of impossible task for me though.
Golf was a game that became easier as you began to get a feel for how the club/wind combo would effect the ball.
Paperboy has a lot of repetition in it. I feel like the house layouts vary slightly each play through, but the combo of hazards stay the same.
Keep 2 or 3 subscribers, smash every window in the red houses you can, drive on the grass and make damn sure you get to the end of each training course at the end of the day to net a couple thousand points. Otherwise, you miss out on a good chunk.
Once you identify the hazard patterns, it'll be a cakewalk for you Brock.
Well my last run ended because I had a blue pants dude and a blue jackhammer dude right next to each other. I threaded the needle on both of them only to have a skateboarder then decide to crash the party
Fucking. Paperboy.
26,350
http://nintendoagemedia.com/users/21046/photobucket/0953BB55-A6AE-FDDC-5DA46F48185A9285.png
This bright and sunny Thursday brought Bo Abobo and I to the southern part of town, the rundown and poor part of Neo City. The neighborhood was rough, with lots of crime, rundown and impoverished houses, tough residents, and also the home of my bitter rival, Bo Abobo himself. I was not looking forward to this day, as I knew this would be my most challenging day as a paperboy. As I stood before Poverty Street, I pulled a newspaper from my satchel to read Thursday’s headlines. As I expected, the top headline read “Hero paperboy saves runaway baby” and featured the picture of me being held up on the shoulders of the proud onlookers who witnessed my heroic act. I couldn’t help but smile that I had made the front page of the local paper just one day after Bo Abobo. Other headlines of the day included “Master Higgins completes marathon of Pacific Rim islands. Dead tired from so much running,” “Toki transformed into ape. Witch doctor refuses to reverse curse,” “Chef Boyar-Bimmy wins 10th annual Hyrule Bake-Off,” and “Palamedes tournament gets underway with 16 competitors.” Just as I finished reading the paper I had in my hands, I felt a hard clap on my back, which almost knocked me to the ground. I turned around and found Bo Abobo standing behind me, an angry scowl on his face. “That wasn’t cool what you did yesterday” the chubby bully said as he grabbed me by the front of the shirt. “I’m supposed to be the hero around town, not you. Don’t do it again. You save the heroic acts for ME.” Without thinking twice, I pushed Bo Abobo away as hard as I could. He immediately let go of my shirt and staggered backward a couple steps with a shocked look on his face. I could tell he was not used to being pushed around. “Put your hands on me again and next time they’ll be in a cast” I shouted to him as I huffed and puffed nervously. I could scarcely believe I was threatening the toughest bully in town. The look of shock remained on his face for what seemed like minutes and then eventually broke out into a smile as he laughed evilly. “You? Beat me up? I would like to see you try” Bo Abobo laughed as he cracked his knuckles and started walking toward me with clenched fists. I started backing up, unsure of where I was going to retreat to, but I knew I needed to get away from him before I got clobbered. I wasn’t ready for a fight, not today. As Bo Abobo closed in on me, we both noticed a cop car slowly roll by the intersection, the police officer inside watching us closely. At that point, Bo Abobo backed off and moved toward his bike. “You’re lucky a cop drove by, wimp” Bo Abobo replied in a nasty tone. “Next time, I’m gonna kick your ass. Just remember that. Oh, and you better watch your back today.” As he rode off down Poverty Lane, I shouted to him “Yeah, well I guess we’ll see about that.” He didn’t respond to my half-hearted threat and just continued to ride on. I hopped back on my bike, readjusted my satchel, and headed off to deliver papers.
Just as I expected, my route that day was a doozy. The first subscriber I came to lived in a castle, and this wasn’t just any castle. This one belonged to the King of Koopas himself, Bowser! And let me tell you, the outside was definitely just as dangerous as the inside is in all those Super Mario games we have played! Bowser had cannons mounted every 10 feet or so and they were firing like wild that morning. There were even fireballs spewing out of cracks in the castle walls along with the occasional Bullet Bill. Getting through all of this was going to require a lot of skill. I stood there for a moment getting the timing down, and right when I figured it out, I made my move. Just as I dodged the first set of cannonballs and fireballs, Bowser suddenly appeared at the top of the castle. He laughed maniacally and began breathing fire my way! Just in the nick of time, I dropped my bike to the ground and skidded under the plume of flame. I certainly scratched the hell out of my bike, but I now had a cool story to tell! I hopped back up on both wheels as soon as the fire stopped and reached for a paper. At this point in time, I had screwed up my timing and a giant Bullet Bill was headed my way! I chucked a paper at it, and to my surprise, it deflected the Bullet Bill away from me! It turned in the direction I was facing and took out every last cannonball being shot from the castle, paving a clear road for me. Bowser thumped his fists in frustration at my escape and suddenly jumped down from the castle onto the drawbridge with a thundering crash. It looked like he wasn’t going to let me get away that easily! As he started to run across the bridge, I quickly grabbed a paper from my satchel and heaved it toward him, hoping I could slow him down somehow. I ended up missing Bowser by a mile, but hit an ornamental axe hanging from the front of the castle. It tumbled from its perch and sliced right through the chains on the drawbridge like a hot knife through butter. The bridge quickly collapsed into the moat along with Bowser himself! He howled in disappointment as he landed in the water below him, sputtering loudly as he struggled to keep afloat. I laughed loudly at the spectacle and continued on down the road, realizing that the Bullet Bill that protected me just moments before was still moving forward. It suddenly crashed into one of those expensive 6000 SUX sports cars (you know, the ones that drive really fast but get real shitty gas mileage) and completely destroyed it. As I rode by the wreck, the owner of the car emerged from his house. Based on the way he was dressed, I could tell he was a member of the Mad Gear Gang, a violent gang from this side of town. His eyes bugged out of his head when he saw the destruction and ran quickly toward what was left of the car. He dropped down on his knees and started crying, exclaiming loudly “Oh, my car!” I hurried away from the scene before he could have a chance to realize I was the one responsible for destroying his car.
When I finally caught up to Bo Abobo, he had already delivered to a handful of Neo City’s toughest ruffians, including Belger, the leader of the Mad Gear Gang, the mysterious and evil Jacquio, the nefarious Dr. Robotnik, the always scheming and ever malevolent Kefka, the crafty and sly Revolver Ocelot, and the bratty, yet rich, Montana Max. As I threw a newspaper onto the doorstep of Gannon’s Dark Palace, I could see Bo Abobo glaring at me from across the street. “What are you looking at, Bo ADOBO” I shouted at him as I felt myself getting bolder and bolder. I was starting to not fear the giant bully anymore and knew that one day we would come to blows with one another. “Someone who is about to get pummeled” he retorted back as he started to laugh evilly. Suddenly he sped ahead on the tiny bike of his and faster than I had ever seen him ride. I was confused by what he meant and continued on up the road, oblivious as what I was about to run into. Before too long I came across what appeared to be a kid’s fort of some sort. It was made from what appeared to be scrap pieces of lumber and spanned an entire lot on Poverty Street. It happened to be your typical kid’s fort: small little building where the kids would play Pirates or something of that nature with crudely cut windows, a tree with a small fort that was only accessible from small pieces of wood nailed into the tree itself, and several walls from which kids could throw water balloons and still be safe from the people they were assaulting. As I rode by, I noticed quick movement from inside the fort, and within moments, I realized what Bo Abobo meant. Suddenly, a trap door on the ceiling of the biggest building flung open and Bo Abobo’s best friend Burnov emerged with a big smile on his face. At the same time, I noticed more bullies popping up from hiding spots from within the fort. Abore showed himself from the tree fort and Andore Jr. and Paco Loco popped up from behind the walls attached to the main building. “Get him, guys” I heard Burnov shout as the bullies rained rocks down on me. I wiped out on my bike as the stinging stones pelted me in the arms, legs, chest, and back as bruises and scratches appeared on my body and blood ran from open cuts. The bullies all laughed heartily as I lay prone on the road, stones pelting all parts of my body as I attempted to protect myself. Seeing no way out of this cruel and unusual torture, I reached for a nearby stone and hurled it toward my attackers. I hit Burnov square in the nose, causing him to yelp in pain and tumble back into the fort, the trap door banging loudly on the roof as he disappeared from view. I hurled another one toward Abore, hitting him in the shoulder and causing him to recoil in pain. I tossed more rocks toward Andore Jr. and Paco Loco, causing them to take cover behind their walls. I managed to buy myself enough time to scoop up my bike off the ground, hop on, and ride away. More stones rained down on the pavement as I pedaled away quickly, but luckily I was far enough away to keep from getting hit. I could hear the bullies laughing behind me as an angry look spread across my face. Bo Abobo would pay dearly for having his friends ambush me this way. And he would certainly pay before the end of the week. In fact, he was going to pay today whether he liked it or not!
I caught up to Bo Abobo a couple blocks ahead, but at this point, we were almost done with our route for the day. I had a rock concealed in my newspaper satchel and I was ready to pelt the ugly bully with it. As I got closer to him, the anger in my body swelled to an all-time high and I jammed my hand into the satchel and closed it around the rock. The coolness of it actually felt good against my hot skin as I gripped it tightly. I didn’t care if I lost the paperboy job at this point, I just wanted to get revenge…and you guys know how I go on about revenge! And I was ready to get it! As I closed in on Bo Abobo and my eyes narrowed, I removed my clenched hand from the satchel and readied myself to hit him in the ugly face. As he approached his final house, I suddenly chickened out and quickly placed the rock back in my satchel. Bo Abobo’s final delivery for the day was his own house…and his parents were standing outside waiting to greet him! Talk about your white trash house…garbage all over the yard, dirty walls, cracked windows, bent TV antenna, holes in the chain-link fence surrounding the yard, broken down car in the front yard, it was all there. A giant bulldog sat in the front yard chained up to the front of the house, drooling all over the ground as he stood guard of his domain. He barked angrily at me as I rode up the street. At this point I just didn’t have the heart to hurt Bo Abobo right in front of his mom and dad. Speaking of his mom and dad, you know how people say that kids look just like their parents…well Bo Abobo sure did! His dad, Bolo, was standing there shirtless in white sweat pants, the same ugly look on his face as his son. Except Bolo had a lot of hair, whereas, Bo Abobo was clean shaven. And holy crap, Bo Abobo’s mother, Abobina! Man was she ever UGLY! I have never seen such an ugly woman in all my life! She looked so much like her son, except she had long brown hair and wore a flowing pink dress. Words cannot describe the ugliness of Bo Abobo’s parents! I mean, just look at these two!
As I gazed in awe at the hideousness of the Abobo family, Bo Abobo waved proudly to his parents. They both waved back, smiles spreading across their ghastly faces. “Hello, son” Abobina shouted in a husky, yet feminine voice. “We are so proud of you right now. You look so grown up!” “Thanks, mom” Bo Abobo replied happily as he continued to wave to his parents. “Oh, my son, the paperboy hero who stopped the robbers on Tuesday” Abobina replied as she wiped tears from hers eyes. “Son” Bolo shouted as he motioned to Bo Abobo. “Why don’t you show us how good you are. Throw us a newspaper. Show that wimpy rival of yours over there that you’re better than him.” Bo Abobo turned toward me, an evil grin on his face as he wiggled his eyebrows. “Watch this, wimp” he taunted as he reached into his satchel for a paper. Bo Abobo heaved a newspaper toward his parents and, in typical Bo Abobo style, he missed by a mile. The paper soared through the air and landed right on the hookup on the house for their dog. The chain snapped with ease and soon the dog was tearing through the yard at full speed. Bo Abobo’s parents threw their hands up to their faces in utter shock as the dog ran through a hole in the fence surrounding their yard. Bo Abobo immediately jumped off his bike, letting it crash to the ground noisily. “Spike McFang, come back” the fat bully shouted as the dog escaped the Abobo yard and ran up the street. The chubby bully gave chase as his parents scrambled inside to grab a leash. As Bo Abobo and his dog disappeared over the horizon, I laughed loudly to myself. I may not have gotten personal revenge on my rival, but this was certainly good enough for the time being.
Back at the newspaper office, Bo Abobo and I sat before Big Boss’ desk waiting for another evaluation. As was customary with our boss, he had a lit cigar in his mouth and was puffing away on it heartily. “Bimmy” our boss said to me as he took a deep puff on his cigar and blew a couple smoke rings. “You are still delivering at a good rate and have added 30 new subscribers to our paper so far this week. Good job.” At this point, I didn’t even bother trying to correct him on the mispronunciation of my name. If he wasn’t going to get it right at this point, he wasn’t going to get it right at all. “Thank you, sir” I answered as I sighed in disappointment at the mispronunciation of my name. “And as for you, Bo” Big Boss growled as he turned toward my rival. “What in the HELL were you thinking chasing a dog around the Poverty Lane neighborhood today. You’re here to deliver newspapers, not catch DOGS. If you want to catch dogs, go get a job at the POUND!” Bo Abobo could only babble like a baby. He was so taken aback by Big Boss’ words that he couldn’t even form a clear sentence. “But, sir” he finally spit forth from his mouth. “It was MY dog and all and I didn’t want him to get hit by a car and all. Plus, he’s not fixed and I didn’t want him to…” “I don’t care if he’s the dog of the President of the United States and he has been kidnapped by NINJAS” Big Boss screamed as his cigar leaped from his mouth and onto the desk. “You deliver NEWSPAPERS and you do not catch DOGS! Do I make myself clear.” “Yeah, but…” Bo Abobo sputtered as tears started to form at the corners of his eyes. “DO…I…MAKE…MY…SELF…CLEAR” Big Boss screamed loudly as his face turned beet red and a vein started to bulge from his forehead. “Y-y-y-yes, s-s-sir” Bo Abobo said nervously to the angry man in front of him. Big Boss picked up his cigar off the desk and placed it firmly between his teeth, taking two big puffs in the process. “Good” he answered as he blew smoke in the air. “Now both of you get out of my office. I will see you tomorrow.” Bo Abobo and I both jumped up quickly and exited the editor’s office before Big Boss could scream at us again. I stopped short in the hallway as Bo Abobo walked on slowly, his shoulders sagging with a heavy sadness as he trudged along. I felt sorry for the bully for getting yelled at, but I couldn’t help but smile as he slowly exited the building. It was clear Big Boss was starting to show disdain toward Bo Abobo for his lack of effort over the last couple days and that favor was starting to slide my way. I felt way better about myself than I did on Wednesday morning as I left the newspaper office with a huge amount of pride. Before too long, Friday morning would be here and the trial run for the paperboy job would be just days from coming to a close. It would be that morning where some of the craziest hijinks would occur and actually put the job in jeopardy for both of us.
Sneaking in a participation score, between my new job and that other thing i nearly forgot about playing this week., bimmy writing epic stories each day this is gold right here!
i didn't play this game much as a kid, paperboy 2 i played alot but not the first.