13 Reasons Why
I'm not much on TV and never have but just today I get a strong letter from my kids school basicly "warning" me about this mini series 13 Reasons Why which is about teen suicide etc. I'm guessing they are in fear it may give teens the wrong ideals or whatever, I have never received anytbing like this before my life, yes there some crazy ass shit on TV these days, plus im living dead in the middle of the "bible" belt. In the letter it claims they watched it ect, and I guess it may be disturbing and such, but is this not up to Netflix to post warnings etc. Which I've not watched it as i can only access Netflix at work (heh) but this really seems a bit much to be going apeshit like they are, and I've yet to determine if its nation wide issue or some dipshit in the chair in my area is going on a personal vendetta.
Hell I control what my kids watch anyway (which did eventually cause me to disconnect from cable/satellite) and I've watched some bizarre shit like Happy Tree Friends etc and I never heard a fart let on them.
Maybe I'm just in a strange mood...
__________________________
"After hearing many students discuss the topic over the past week, several of our school counselors and staff have had the opportunity to watch the newly released Netflix mini-series called 13 Reasons Why.
This new show, executive produced by former Disney star Selena Gomez, is based off the 2007 fictional book by Jay Asher. 13 Reasons Why tells the story of a teen who commits suicide. The Netflix series depicts strong and graphic themes of suicide, sexual assault, drug use, bullying, and other social issues that affect teens. The Netflix series has attacted the attention of many young people, especally middle and high school students. Discussions about the show have become prominent among the youth and trend on social media. Although the show is fictional, the nature of the storyline raises serious concerns reguarding the emotional safety of adolescents who may watch the series, especially youth who have experienced mental health issues, trauma, or suicidal thoughts and behaviour in the past.
As educators, we have concerns about the nature of 13 Reason Why and the messages it may send to our youth. Its charismatic characters and storyline may lead impressionable viewers into romanticizing the poor choices and developing revenge fantasies similar to characters in the mini series.
We understand that many of our middle and high school students have or are already watching the series. If your child is already watching, we encourage you to consider the recommendations from the National Association of School Psychologists. This guide may assist you in opening a dialogue with your child about shaping his or her experience and perspective on this important issue.
Ask your child if they have heared or seen the series 13 Reasons Why. While we do not recommend that they be encouraged to view the series, do tell them you want to watch it with them or to catch up if they are watching it and discuss their thoughts.
If they exhibit any warning signs, don't be afraid to ask if they have have thought about suicide or if someone is hurting them. Raising the issue of suicide does not increase or plant the ideal, it creates the opportunity to offer help
Ask your child if they think any of their friends or classmates exhibit warning signs. Talk with them on how to seek help for their friend or classmate. Guide them on how to respond when they see or hear any of the warning signs.
Listen to your children's commnet without judgement. Doing so requires that you fully concentrate, understand, respond, and remember what is being said. Put your own agenda aside.
Get help from a school-employee or community-based mental health professional if you have concerns with your child or one of their peers.
In addition JED and Suicide Awareness: Voices of Education (SAVE) have developed a guide for parents which we believe you wil find helpful as you discuss the topic as a family (www.save.org/13-reason-why)
You may also find the following resources helpful:
TN Youth Crisis Hotline (24/7) 1-866-791-9223
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-272 TALK"
(I left out the letterhead info and a bottom signature, all the rest is word for word)
Hell I control what my kids watch anyway (which did eventually cause me to disconnect from cable/satellite) and I've watched some bizarre shit like Happy Tree Friends etc and I never heard a fart let on them.
Maybe I'm just in a strange mood...
__________________________
"After hearing many students discuss the topic over the past week, several of our school counselors and staff have had the opportunity to watch the newly released Netflix mini-series called 13 Reasons Why.
This new show, executive produced by former Disney star Selena Gomez, is based off the 2007 fictional book by Jay Asher. 13 Reasons Why tells the story of a teen who commits suicide. The Netflix series depicts strong and graphic themes of suicide, sexual assault, drug use, bullying, and other social issues that affect teens. The Netflix series has attacted the attention of many young people, especally middle and high school students. Discussions about the show have become prominent among the youth and trend on social media. Although the show is fictional, the nature of the storyline raises serious concerns reguarding the emotional safety of adolescents who may watch the series, especially youth who have experienced mental health issues, trauma, or suicidal thoughts and behaviour in the past.
As educators, we have concerns about the nature of 13 Reason Why and the messages it may send to our youth. Its charismatic characters and storyline may lead impressionable viewers into romanticizing the poor choices and developing revenge fantasies similar to characters in the mini series.
We understand that many of our middle and high school students have or are already watching the series. If your child is already watching, we encourage you to consider the recommendations from the National Association of School Psychologists. This guide may assist you in opening a dialogue with your child about shaping his or her experience and perspective on this important issue.
Ask your child if they have heared or seen the series 13 Reasons Why. While we do not recommend that they be encouraged to view the series, do tell them you want to watch it with them or to catch up if they are watching it and discuss their thoughts.
If they exhibit any warning signs, don't be afraid to ask if they have have thought about suicide or if someone is hurting them. Raising the issue of suicide does not increase or plant the ideal, it creates the opportunity to offer help
Ask your child if they think any of their friends or classmates exhibit warning signs. Talk with them on how to seek help for their friend or classmate. Guide them on how to respond when they see or hear any of the warning signs.
Listen to your children's commnet without judgement. Doing so requires that you fully concentrate, understand, respond, and remember what is being said. Put your own agenda aside.
Get help from a school-employee or community-based mental health professional if you have concerns with your child or one of their peers.
In addition JED and Suicide Awareness: Voices of Education (SAVE) have developed a guide for parents which we believe you wil find helpful as you discuss the topic as a family (www.save.org/13-reason-why)
You may also find the following resources helpful:
TN Youth Crisis Hotline (24/7) 1-866-791-9223
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-272 TALK"
(I left out the letterhead info and a bottom signature, all the rest is word for word)
Comments
Hey, keep your kid away from that show because it's stupid... not because it has influence over your kid. I had to watch like half of it with my wife. Oh shit... I was going to say I felt like killing myself so I guess I was wrong. It did influence me.
The Goldbergs just had an episode where all the kids got messages and there was an assembly because everyone watched The Day After.
Hey, keep your kid away from that show because it's stupid... not because it has influence over your kid. I had to watch like half of it with my wife. Oh shit... I was going to say I felt like killing myself so I guess I was wrong. It did influence me.
Heh, i hear you. When I read Selena Gomez was in it I was ready to leap off a high cliff backwards. Perhaps your on to something.
On an off note Netflix should be pleased as with these letters being sent out just increased their views 10 fold.
Well I just read your comment and thought 'What? Who was she?' Apparently she helped produce it but did not appear in it.
Ahh, well just her name would have been enough anyway. I hear wolves howl saying it out loud.
Teen suicides are a really sensitive topic, so I can see how schools want to make sure parents are aware of media that "sends the wrong message" by glorifying it.
And I recall reading that suicide is "special" in this regard, in that it has unusual features like cascading through social groups (i.e. if a sibling or friend kills themselves, another person in that social circle has a MUCH higher risk of suicide than the average).
(so unlike all the whiny back-and-forth about violence in media, suicide depictions can actually potentially matter)
But hopefully what you're seeing there doesn't start a trend.
The public school system and state should nose out and let parents raise their own children, IMO. I have this opinion, and I'm more of a "Bible" belt kind of person, btw.
If they're sending Concern Messages about this now, God knows what they'll be sending 10+ years from now. Maybe in the future the government will just give schools direct control over the technology and shows their students are (and are not) allowed to stream.
The public school system and state should nose out and let parents raise their own children, IMO. I have this opinion, and I'm more of a "Bible" belt kind of person, btw.
If they're sending Concern Messages about this now, God knows what they'll be sending 10+ years from now. Maybe in the future the government will just give schools direct control over the technology and shows their students are (and are not) allowed to stream.
I think it is entirely reasonable for the school system to notify parents of this kind of thing, since this is exactly the kind of thing that would be very easy for a parent to be completely unaware of, but could have a lot of relevance to what they choose to let their kid do, or not do, once they have more information.
The school isn't telling you that you can't let your kid do something, or that your kid will be punished for doing something.
They are offering a (very reasonable) warning to parents about something they probably want to be aware of.
I would be disturbed by this letter, too. But no, it's not a nation-wide thing.
But hopefully what you're seeing there doesn't start a trend.
The public school system and state should nose out and let parents raise their own children, IMO. I have this opinion, and I'm more of a "Bible" belt kind of person, btw.
If they're sending Concern Messages about this now, God knows what they'll be sending 10+ years from now. Maybe in the future the government will just give schools direct control over the technology and shows their students are (and are not) allowed to stream.
Probably hasn't been done in every state but I seen New Jersey and Colorado public schools sent letters. Tennessee i didn't see listed (granted i am not looking THAT hard either) so it still could have ruffled someone feathers in my area and they joined the crusade, which will spread.
I'm waiting for my mother to catch wind of it and call so I can remind her again ive not had TV in 15ys but im aware and even spread the word to my vidja game buddies on the interwebs. (she's getting old bless her lol)
Also Arch nailed it earlier, my comments in the OP was just my personal view.
Not only that but why are they questioning the intelligence of people's kids and or the parent's parenting skills?
Do they not think that if your child happens to watch it for some reason that you as a parent aren't going to be able to discuss it with your children and educate them?
All they did was create a curiosity about it and now kids are going to WANT to see it.
Do they not think that if your child happens to watch it for some reason that you as a parent aren't going to be able to discuss it with your children and educate them?
I could see how they (likely correctly) think that the typical parent might be totally unaware of the show's existence, at all, let alone what the show was about, or how depictions related to suicide impact teenagers, specifically.
Do they not think that if your child happens to watch it for some reason that you as a parent aren't going to be able to discuss it with your children and educate them?
I could see how they (likely correctly) think that the typical parent might be totally unaware of the show's existence, at all, let alone what the show was about, or how depictions related to suicide impact teenagers, specifically.
No and that is fair to say, I just mean if the child were to watch it (and the parent did not know) and it is brought up to the parent from the child.
Kind of a shitty thing to have to talk about but I mean, kids are going to ask about everything.
First I have heard of this, it seems like by issuing a warning they are blowing it up making it a big deal and making it worse than it probably is.
Not only that but why are they questioning the intelligence of people's kids and or the parent's parenting skills?
Do they not think that if your child happens to watch it for some reason that you as a parent aren't going to be able to discuss it with your children and educate them?
All they did was create a curiosity about it and now kids are going to WANT to see it.
That last bit was how I discoverd whom AC/DC and KISS were back in the day, so naturally what did I do? Percisely as you stated. (also found Slayer too, on my own. No help.)
If something bad is going around and a school does nothing about it, somehow the school should have done more. If the school tries to go a little bit above and beyond, then they are overstepping their bounds. A letter like this would make some parents very happy and appreciative, and it seems it would make others feel a little ticked off.
I don't know much about this series and I'm not even necessarily talking about this particular incident, but my point is, teachers and administrators have the extremely difficult job of teaching our youth and helping them grow. They are a huge part of children's lives. Obviously there are times when someone has gone too far or done something bad, and in those cases there should be consequences. But it's like some people expect them to be perfect robots that always achieve perfect efficiency and maximum obtainable balance of instructing children and offering practical advice but never getting too personal or stepping over the line.
Every decision that is made is scrutinized so heavily - "how dare they send out this letter," "can you believe they cancelled school today?" "how come they didn't cancel school this is ridiculous?" "they need to be more strict with the children" "they need to lay off and be more relaxed with my kids.
The standard SHOULD be high, as they are very important and we can't just have anybody off the streets or someone at risk in a position where they can influence children or do something bad. But, we should also try to put ourselves in their shoes and realize that sometimes hard decisions have to be made -- I would imagine in this case they are just trying to be helpful, not trying to take over parenting or force an agenda on anyone.
No and that is fair to say, I just mean if the child were to watch it (and the parent did not know) and it is brought up to the parent from the child.
That's all fine, but the concern Arch is pointing out is if the kid DIDN'T bring it up to the parents. You ever tell your parents everything you got into? Probably not.
I think the letter was more a note about "Hey, this show is about teen suicide, you may want to have a discussion about the issues it raises." Of course people might interpret it like they did the satanic scare back in the 80s.
No and that is fair to say, I just mean if the child were to watch it (and the parent did not know) and it is brought up to the parent from the child.
That's all fine, but the concern Arch is pointing out is if the kid DIDN'T bring it up to the parents. You ever tell your parents everything you got into? Probably not.
I think the letter was more a note about "Hey, this show is about teen suicide, you may want to have a discussion about the issues it raises." Of course people might interpret it like they did the satanic scare back in the 80s.
I personally would just leave it alone, I wouldn't just approach my child about it without them even knowing about it.
We also haven't really established what age range of children we are talking about here.
It wasn't saying anyone would be punished for letting their kids or not letting their kids use certain apps, but it was purely informational.
For added context, apparently some of the younger kids were getting on social media services like musical.ly, snapchat, etc., and sharing naked or sexual photos of themselves with their "friends," and some of those friends were random people. The teachers realized that some of this was going on and were trying to communicate to parents. The information explained how easy it is to get connected with a stranger and how some of the things like snapchat images didn't necessarily go away and could be used against the children.
This was something that was done to help protect children and help make parents aware of some of these dangers.
I realize that perhaps this is a less controversial example that most people would have no problem with, but it's exactly what I mean when I talk about the balance of when and how often they need to communicate information to parents. Maybe some times they get a little too cautious and send things when they don't need to, but as I said before, I imagine this was done with good intentions.
I personally would just leave it alone, I wouldn't just approach my child about it without them even knowing about it.
We also haven't really established what age range of children we are talking about here.
You don't have to approach your own kids if you don't want to. It wasn't like the letter was sent to the kids themselves. But wouldn't you want to know that this thing is at least out there for anyone to watch?
I think a number of parents would.
Of course it depends on how the letter was worded, too.
I personally would just leave it alone, I wouldn't just approach my child about it without them even knowing about it.
We also haven't really established what age range of children we are talking about here.
You don't have to approach your own kids if you don't want to. It wasn't like the letter was sent to the kids themselves. But wouldn't you want to know that this thing is at least out there for anyone to watch?
I think a number of parents would.
I mean, it is certainly better than "not" knowing.
I personally would just leave it alone, I wouldn't just approach my child about it without them even knowing about it.
We also haven't really established what age range of children we are talking about here.
You don't have to approach your own kids if you don't want to. It wasn't like the letter was sent to the kids themselves. But wouldn't you want to know that this thing is at least out there for anyone to watch?
I think a number of parents would.
I mean, it is certainly better than "not" knowing.
To be fair, if the letter was basically "IF YOUR KID WATCHES THIS SHOW THEY MAY COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE IT IS COOL CANCEL YOUR INTERNET NOW!", then that is totally out of line.
I personally would just leave it alone, I wouldn't just approach my child about it without them even knowing about it.
We also haven't really established what age range of children we are talking about here.
You don't have to approach your own kids if you don't want to. It wasn't like the letter was sent to the kids themselves. But wouldn't you want to know that this thing is at least out there for anyone to watch?
I think a number of parents would.
I mean, it is certainly better than "not" knowing.
To be fair, if the letter was basically "IF YOUR KID WATCHES THIS SHOW THEY MAY COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE IT IS COOL CANCEL YOUR INTERNET NOW!", then that is totally out of line.
I think the letter is a little over-dramatic.......Regardless of the content.
To be completely honest the chances of them getting a device that has internet access and giving them the opportunity to view pornograhy, REAL violent images etc. is MUCH higher than them watchin a random Netflix series....
No kid is going to be like "Oh I want to watch that" they are going to put on X-Men or someshit....
For all we know this is just some big plot to boost Netflix ratings.....The news puts something out, schools freak out, parents freak out, everyone starts talking about it and everyone watches it.
To be completely honest the chances of them getting a device that has internet access and giving them the opportunity to view pornograhy, REAL violent images etc. is MUCH higher than them watchin a random Netflix series....
No kid is going to be like "Oh I want to watch that" they are going to put on X-Men or someshit....
For all we know this is just some big plot to boost Netflix ratings.....The news puts something out, schools freak out, parents freak out, everyone starts talking about it and everyone watches it.
The hype about the show is already out there. I've seen it make the rounds on social media a couple of times, and if my square friends and I are seeing it talked about, you can be damn sure pre-teens and teens are already watching it. Didn't need the letter to goose that hype (which again, is only sent to parents.)
This is just to give a head's up to those parents who "don't facebook".
To be completely honest the chances of them getting a device that has internet access and giving them the opportunity to view pornograhy, REAL violent images etc. is MUCH higher than them watchin a random Netflix series....
No kid is going to be like "Oh I want to watch that" they are going to put on X-Men or someshit....
For all we know this is just some big plot to boost Netflix ratings.....The news puts something out, schools freak out, parents freak out, everyone starts talking about it and everyone watches it.
The hype about the show is already out there. I've seen it make the rounds on social media a couple of times, and if my square friends and I are seeing it talked about, you can be damn sure pre-teens and teens are already watching it. Didn't need the letter to goose that hype (which again, is only sent to parents.)
This is just to give a head's up to those parents who "don't facebook".
Why does there have to be a negative stigma associated with it?
I am sure there is "plenty" of kids, adults who have watched it and maybe it had the complete opposite affect on them and made them see how silly suicide is.
That show probably saves more kids lives than not.
What they SHOULD have done is used it as an opportunity to spread awareness about suicide and or depression, and who knows maybe that "is" what the letter is like and if so, good on them.
Why does there have to be a negative stigma associated with it?
I am sure there is "plenty" of kids, adults who have watched it and maybe it had the complete opposite affect on them and made them see how silly suicide is.
That show probably saves more kids lives than not.
What they SHOULD have done is used it as an opportunity to spread awareness about suicide and or depression, and who knows maybe that "is" what the letter is like and if so, good on them.
There's a difference between a negative stigma and a warning. "Hey, a boulder crashing down that mountain is about to flatten your ass" is not a negative stigma against boulders. It's just a head's up.
Of course, again, that depends on the letter.
And as Arch pointed out, suicide has a weird ripple effect in some groups.
Why does there have to be a negative stigma associated with it?
I am sure there is "plenty" of kids, adults who have watched it and maybe it had the complete opposite affect on them and made them see how silly suicide is.
That show probably saves more kids lives than not.
What they SHOULD have done is used it as an opportunity to spread awareness about suicide and or depression, and who knows maybe that "is" what the letter is like and if so, good on them.
There's a difference between a negative stigma and a warning. "Hey, a boulder crashing down that mountain is about to flatten your ass" is not a negative stigma against boulders. It's just a head's up.
Of course, again, that depends on the letter.
And as Arch pointed out, suicide has a weird ripple effect in some groups.
Man walking through mountains where boulders are falling? That is suicide!
Gaa my nintendur thumbs are hurting typing out all that though a cell phone, and realized i had speech to text afterwards... *facepalm*
Just thought I'd give an example of the letter that was sent out in schools in SW Ontario.
No it's not a local thing...these are widly distributed.