How to discuss fences with your Neighbor
I share my yard with two neighbors on both sides of the house. One of them is an older couple, recently retired. The other is a deaf guy who, as far as I can tell, is a full time bowler. Both are nice and cordial but I want to put up a privacy fence on the deaf guys side because he does stuff that I just don't dig and he is always home. I don't feel like I can just chill in my backyard without him and a bunch of people I don't know just being out. So... How do I kindly open a discussion about putting up a privacy fence without coming off as a dick?
Comments
Just say you want more privacy and that you want to put a fence up. It's not that big of a deal, he might even offer to pay some of it.
Or you could just get some big ass bushes.
I would just state you want general privacy.
I tell my neighbor when my feces has corn in it.
LOL
Is this normal? For neighbors to not already have fences up?
In some areas it is more common than other to have fences up. Either way, if he is building it on his prroperty, I don't see why he needs to discuss it, but at the same time, it could upset the neighbors since it might be considered "an eye sore."
Good luck OP!
I'd just put it up. Unless you're trying to go on his property with it or you're trying to get him to pay for some of it, it's not really any of his concern.
This.
Also, be a nice neighbor and put this shitty side of the fence on the inside, facing your house, and you'll prevent issues with your neighbors (some counties require this anyway, but it's always the proper thing to do so your neighbors aren't constantly seeing an eyesore). Also, that depends on the type of fence you're talking about, but since you said it was for privacy reasons, I'd imagine it would be your standard picket fence
You could tell the deaf guy your are planning to do both sides eventually but only have enough funds to do one side now. No need to go into into your wanting just to focus on him.
My neighbor to the north and I have a wonderful relationship in regards to our property line. We had a real crappy fence between us and we rebuilt it ourselves (splitting the materials cost). Anytime something happens near it we treat it as a joint problem. (We had a really large limb come down between our houses (the tree was on his side) in the spring - it did some minor damage to my shingles, the fence and a storage shed on his side.) We worked together to fix the fence and break down the limb. I put some tar on my roof and he fixed his shed. It was much easier than trying to blame anyone - it just happened. (And there really wasn't anywhere near enough damage to bother with an insurance claim for either of us.)
In the long run IMHO you are much better off having a good working relationship with your neighbors than otherwise.
"Hey neighbor, just letting you know I'd like to put up a fence."
If they oppose it, then you would be doing it out of spite and piss them off even more. If they don't care then how do they even respond? "Oh okay, thanks for telling me?"
You don't have to say a thing.
I moved into my first house in January and the family next door has a girl that plays sports with my daughter, The mother was talking about pulling out some bushes on her side of the fence and wanted to build a retaining wall and asked about splitting the cost of a new fence, I told her feel free to do whatever you want to do with the landscaping but wouldnt commit to sharing the cost on a new fence, she still hasnt done any of the landscaping. and I will probably just buy some new sections of wooden fence and put them up myself
How I would handle this depends on the exact relationship. If I were in your situation, and if I wanted to continue fostering a positive, friendly relationship, I would simply inform your neighbor out of courtesy, just to let them know what's going on. For example:
"Hey, here in the next couple days we are going to have people working on a fence in the yard - I just wanted to let you know and I apologize for any noise or disturbance while they are working on it."
You don't have to necessarily ask for permission - but just simply inform him and present it as a courtesy notice just so he knows what's going on. You don't have to explain any reason why you are doing it -- if my neighbor said they were putting up a fence my mind wouldn't immediately jump to "omg that jerk he obviously just wants to block me out, how rude of him"
I wouldn't worry about it too much either way - many people want one just for their own personal privacy to feel comfortable, not necessarily as an agitated response or wanting to block someone out.
Different neighborhoods and people have different levels of relationships with this sort of thing. I know people who just kinda live and let live and don't really talk to neighbors but everything is cordial. I also know people who are super close and friendly. I'm somewhere in the middle -- I wouldn't say we are best friends, but I have a positive relationship with my neighbors and we communicate about what is going on. And it has paid dividends numerous times with situations where I needed their help or they needed mine.
What ever you do, it probably goes without saying to check in to see what kind of permit you may need if you need any at all. Some cities have height regulations and such.
I'm lucky. I have good neighbors on all sides. I grew up with my parents who have had very bad luck with shitty neighbors. I have nothing but sympathy for people dealing with the type of shit seen in the video above.
TLDR: You have the right to do whatever you want with your fence (within reason of local building codes and neighborhood regulations), but I still recommend talking to your neighbor first just to keep a good relationship with them.
Yeah I have no idea.