Had the game once but didn't have an NES at the time. Watched an episode of Golgo13 on netflix and I was surprised to find it was a documentary on my life .
It's nice to know someone actually enjoys this game, because I sure as hell don't.
I like how Duke can jump the full height of a building and can ninja-kick bullets out of the air in mid-flight, yet is physically incapable of ducking and shooting a pistol at the same time. Considering all your enemies duck before they shoot at you, this is a real problem.
The laser barrier part is such a pain, too. There's one stretch of hallway in mission, I think, 7 (been too long since I last played) where you have to run through a dozen of these things without dying. I made a map for this part before I had purchased a manual, only to find that the manual contains maps for these sections, so it least has THAT going for it.
Finally, there's this one first person arcade section in the Amazon that's, as far as I can tell, bloody impossible. You just get gang-raped and even if you manage to kill a couple guys in the four seconds it takes you to die, you won't be able to regain enough health from it to be able to survive the next onslaught. I love how you go through a colossal maze to find your 'custom M16' but you don't even get to use the damn thing. There's someone in Greece who literally tells you something to the effect of 'It's not nice to use your M-16 on people' so Duke continues to use his crappy little pistol in the sidescrolling parts. Sure, there are people shooting flamethrowers and rockets at you, you come under attack by submarines, helicopters, and FUCKING FIGHTER JETS, but heaven forbid you should be 'not nice' and use an assault rifle on any of them. Sorry folks, I guess you'll all have to die from this lethal virus because goodness knows I'd hate to be 'not nice' while trying to save mankind from extinction.
Plus he stands like he's got a coat hanger wedged up his ass. I could tolerate any of the other madness this game throws at you, but I draw the line at coat-hanger-ass.
It can't be impossible if Ive beaten the game but it definately has its flaws, but i like some aspects of this game. It is for special tastes only i guess haha
Haha. I love this game. I don't know why. Probably because of how different it is. And the fact that it broke tons of Nintendo rules by having blood and all that jazz.
Plus when you get laid, it fills your life up! And smoking cigarettes gives you life too!
And there are so many different game types all in one game! A platformer. A scrolling shooter. A first person shooter. A maze! SWIMMING! COME ON HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE IT!
YOU CAN SNIPE PEOPLE!
I AM GETTING WAY TOO EXCITED THINKING ABOUT THIS GAME!
I saw pat on spike t.v. 1000 ways to die. It was the one where the fat guy was watching porn and his chair blows up. Pat must be an expert in this. ?) Lol.
WOW until i watched this video i always threw this game in my junk, never play pile. But honestly some of those later stages look pretty sweet. I think im gonna have to give this thing a go. Thanks Pat.
There's someone in Greece who literally tells you something to the effect of 'It's not nice to use your M-16 on people' so Duke continues to use his crappy little pistol in the sidescrolling parts. Sure, there are people shooting flamethrowers and rockets at you, you come under attack by submarines, helicopters, and FUCKING FIGHTER JETS, but heaven forbid you should be 'not nice' and use an assault rifle on any of them. Sorry folks, I guess you'll all have to die from this lethal virus because goodness knows I'd hate to be 'not nice' while trying to save mankind from extinction.
No one says it's "not nice to shoot people" in the game. Your M-16 gets stolen and you have to retrieve it. This is a game where you snipe people in the head and bang girls in hotels for god's sake.
It's an old favorite of mine forgiving the no duck and shoot junk. It has a nice mix of a few styles of play and I never much liked the first levels side scrolling bits at certain points, but around it I think it was a pretty good game (and the sequel Mafat Conspiracy is far nicer.) The swimming was cool as was inside the buildings (I had the manual so I didn't get lost) and some of the sniping stuff was fantastic. I also can't think of another game where you get cut scenes of blowing someones brains out, blood, and then banging some chick in silhouette on a bed for a job well done. Makes you wonder where the NOA censors were on this one.
No one says it's "not nice to shoot people" in the game. Your M-16 gets stolen and you have to retrieve it. This is a game where you snipe people in the head and bang girls in hotels for god's sake.
Well admittedly it's been a while since I last played, but I do distincintly remember an NPC (not one in the talking sequences, just one of the ones walking around the sidescrolling part) mentioning something about how you shouldn't use your M-16 on people for some reason or another, and it miffed me considering all the crap you just had to go through to get it. IIRC this was on the level immediately following the maze section where you retrieve the gun.
Still, if anyone's deserving of some 8-bit nookie it's Duke Togo, given what he's forced to go through in this game. Probably more deserving would be Master Higgins, but that's a story for another time. Though, come to think of it, both these characters have a problem with their legs; while Duke cannot duck and shoot and of course has the coat hanger ass problem, Higgins cannot stop running even if it's just jogging in place. I guess chicks really dig guys with unusual ambulatory impediments.
I do recall someone saying something like "It really isn't nice to go around shooting people. But you probably already know that." But I don't remember them saying with an M-16.
once again a solid review. i personally HATE this game. games such as golgo, x-men, deadly towers are the filth of the NES library. i like how pat mentions golgo's weapon is a modified m16 yet he has a nypd 9mm handgun. so stupid. this is like rambo with a machine gun on the cover but he has a knife or a punch or something (saw it in avgn's rambo episode). golgo could have been awesome i can imagine and i KNOW it would work so well in 3D FPS style.
Comments
I like how Duke can jump the full height of a building and can ninja-kick bullets out of the air in mid-flight, yet is physically incapable of ducking and shooting a pistol at the same time. Considering all your enemies duck before they shoot at you, this is a real problem.
The laser barrier part is such a pain, too. There's one stretch of hallway in mission, I think, 7 (been too long since I last played) where you have to run through a dozen of these things without dying. I made a map for this part before I had purchased a manual, only to find that the manual contains maps for these sections, so it least has THAT going for it.
Finally, there's this one first person arcade section in the Amazon that's, as far as I can tell, bloody impossible. You just get gang-raped and even if you manage to kill a couple guys in the four seconds it takes you to die, you won't be able to regain enough health from it to be able to survive the next onslaught. I love how you go through a colossal maze to find your 'custom M16' but you don't even get to use the damn thing. There's someone in Greece who literally tells you something to the effect of 'It's not nice to use your M-16 on people' so Duke continues to use his crappy little pistol in the sidescrolling parts. Sure, there are people shooting flamethrowers and rockets at you, you come under attack by submarines, helicopters, and FUCKING FIGHTER JETS, but heaven forbid you should be 'not nice' and use an assault rifle on any of them. Sorry folks, I guess you'll all have to die from this lethal virus because goodness knows I'd hate to be 'not nice' while trying to save mankind from extinction.
Plus he stands like he's got a coat hanger wedged up his ass. I could tolerate any of the other madness this game throws at you, but I draw the line at coat-hanger-ass.
Plus when you get laid, it fills your life up! And smoking cigarettes gives you life too!
And there are so many different game types all in one game! A platformer. A scrolling shooter. A first person shooter. A maze! SWIMMING! COME ON HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE IT!
YOU CAN SNIPE PEOPLE!
I AM GETTING WAY TOO EXCITED THINKING ABOUT THIS GAME!
The review was hilarious as always.
Pat got kneed in the nards, lol.
Originally posted by: WolfAlmighty
There's someone in Greece who literally tells you something to the effect of 'It's not nice to use your M-16 on people' so Duke continues to use his crappy little pistol in the sidescrolling parts. Sure, there are people shooting flamethrowers and rockets at you, you come under attack by submarines, helicopters, and FUCKING FIGHTER JETS, but heaven forbid you should be 'not nice' and use an assault rifle on any of them. Sorry folks, I guess you'll all have to die from this lethal virus because goodness knows I'd hate to be 'not nice' while trying to save mankind from extinction.
No one says it's "not nice to shoot people" in the game. Your M-16 gets stolen and you have to retrieve it. This is a game where you snipe people in the head and bang girls in hotels for god's sake.
Originally posted by: Pat the NES Punk
No one says it's "not nice to shoot people" in the game. Your M-16 gets stolen and you have to retrieve it. This is a game where you snipe people in the head and bang girls in hotels for god's sake.
Well admittedly it's been a while since I last played, but I do distincintly remember an NPC (not one in the talking sequences, just one of the ones walking around the sidescrolling part) mentioning something about how you shouldn't use your M-16 on people for some reason or another, and it miffed me considering all the crap you just had to go through to get it. IIRC this was on the level immediately following the maze section where you retrieve the gun.
Still, if anyone's deserving of some 8-bit nookie it's Duke Togo, given what he's forced to go through in this game. Probably more deserving would be Master Higgins, but that's a story for another time. Though, come to think of it, both these characters have a problem with their legs; while Duke cannot duck and shoot and of course has the coat hanger ass problem, Higgins cannot stop running even if it's just jogging in place. I guess chicks really dig guys with unusual ambulatory impediments.
exagerrated? nah. the game is awful as is x-men, and most LJN games. same goes for weirdo companies like jaleco (wow city connection was terrible)